flawed work of art.
Saturday, October 30, 2004 @ 5:09 am
some crazy psycho called my house yesterday & asked for me. when I went, "yeah?", he asked me if I wanted to (do something with his something, get the drift?) I was so pissed that I almost wanted to insult his something but in the end, I just hung up coz' responding to his 'bootie call' would make him get all excited & stuff. he didn't call after that. what a *bleep*! i felt sick the whole day. felt like kicking something the whole day. even got all angry at Mr Lim. (hmm, feeling guilty for being a rebel in class yesterday) and Mr Lim's just the nicest Omega tuition teacher ever. He's HILARIOUS!
anyway, the only fruitful event was getting to see him at the end of the day. my beemer, that is. it was a long time since I last saw him, which was why I stared at him like a stupid schoolgirl. ish. *bangs head on wall till a big 'mountain' appears* when I told melissa about him in the car, she felt like banging her head too, just that the car was too stuffed up to permit that.
oh just remembered. I haven't gotten my confirmation attire. nothing. NOTHING. i'm SO DEAD. DEAD, I tell you. it's not like school holidays have just started. coz' they HAVEN'T. for my stinky school anyway. don't see why SSI get to start their hols so early. *turns green* oh yeah, back to the whole white attire thing.. my dad told me to wear my mom's clothes. yeah. RIIIIIGHT. my mom went on to add that she knows exactly what I should wear. yay her. don't see why we can't just wear what we like. something that really describes us. coz' hey, it's about saying 'yes' to God & kinda like searching your soul for the real you. so what's this about wearing frills & ribbons & pantyhose? Nay, I say! NAY!!!! oh wait, we're back in the real world, where neil would just skin me alive for wearing what I normally do to church. fyi: jeans, tee/shirt, sneakers hmm, can I get anymore wallflower-ish? *heaves a sigh* have I mentioned how I'm gonna be so dead next week during confirmation? I think I have, right? oh wells...

note:listening to: breaking the habit by Linkin Park, the greatest band in the world.
plus, they're collaborating with hip-hopper, H to the Jay-Z Izzo himself! can't wait to hear what it sounds like!!!

Friday, October 29, 2004 @ 6:51 am
Finally mustered sufficient amount of courage to ask my dad for an autograph in my report book. he must've thought I was mad, disturbing his peaceful morning read, but I dunno, I hesitated here & there.. phew! glad I got that over with though. plus, school's such a bore now.

what we do in class ever since the exams ended
- get back our papers
- chit-chat
- read (which is what I'm doing most of the time, but I also do scream at my fellow classmates who bug me over trivial matters while I'm very much into my book)
- class party planning (we have decided on Danga Bay. hah. never been there, but don't think I'm going anyway.. it's on Friday night. my parents will never make an exception)

got castalnetta to watch Windstruck with me.. we cried. haha. not surprising.
plus, we went to CS to find my confirmation attire. the shops mostly had ah-lian clothes.. ish. the only reason i can think of why youths my age want to go there is either for the cineplex or hang out at cyberzone. I did find this white dress though, and at the end of the day, when I went back to pay for it, I was shocked at the price. I can use that money to get a LOT of ice-cream, man. I dunno how to settle the whole attire thing. PLUS, SHOES. ish. Neil's gonna kill me.

Friday, October 22, 2004 @ 4:46 pm
agape sempe fidelis! the theme for this year's X'mas concert. I learnt a lot from it.
my experience as the person in charge of PA system (for the.. I dunno, 500th time?)
learnt how easy it was to plug in cordless mikes. :D thanks to the very kind Mrs Ignatius' brother for supplying the cordless mikes.. although sometimes got glitches.. many thanks to xinyu for staying by the radio's side when i couldn't. you're a dear!
my experience as Emily, the lead's best friend
well, how's it like being a nerd's best friend? cool, actually. since I'm not the one who falls in love, but actually her. and I get to make fun of her & stuff. first time acting on stage.. must say that acting is easier than singing on stage. I didn't have to look at the crowd much, just focus on talking to Jamie. which was easy, seeing that I already know yvonne well.
my experience as the gynae
kinda hard, coz' I made up my own lines as i acted. and kept forgetting my lines. thank goodness I had people on the set with me. including the prop people. haha. in the end, i forgot the anastatic part. oh well... my parents were surprisingly really sporting & lent me the gown, gloves, mask etc, knowing that this was for a x'mas concert and not for academic purposes. go them!

on the whole, i got into the christmasy mood for like, 3 days... and got to see how people react under pressure. tears, tantrums, yelling, whining.. the whole works.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 @ 3:18 pm
my favourite holiday is Christmas.. although that would mean forking out loads for gifts & such. I love Christmas because everyone's just so happy & loving at that time. sooo beautiful! yeah yeah I know it's still 2 months to go till Christmas, but thanks to my school's Christmas concert, I'm now in the Christmasy mood. Ahh.... (relaxing ahh, not an ARGH type of ahh) anyways, while I was downloading Christmas Carols, I had a wide smile on my face. can't wait for the real thing!! :D It's not so smooth-sailing for the Christmas Concert preparations though.. everyone keeps getting pissed & some express their piss off-ness with such expressive words. I guess everyone has their freedom of speech, I suppose. I too had to hold my anger from erupting.. Oh, and feeling mighty guilty over some problems with the casting. know I'm not too blame but I can't help it, especially after so & so's lecture about Christmas being about God's love & not about having fun. First of all, everyone knows that Christmas, marking the birth of Jesus Christ, our saviour who died for us, should be a joyous occasion, no? so having fun, is on our agenda. we were having so much fun in the hall... i ended up all tired and sore.. with my voice on the brink of vanishing. hahaha.

Monday, October 18, 2004 @ 11:36 am
I made my father smile today! should have jotted down the time. dang! i think it's because he didn't work in the day. he went golfing with my uncles & cousin uncles. they're down to catch the Eagles live in concert! yeah, the 500 buckaroos one.. but they didn't get those tix. they got the 2nd highest priced ones.
anyway, just got a call from my mom who yelled at me for being irresponsible coz' i didn't remind her about collecting my bro's IC. she's been very touchy feely about daniel lately. all her lectures start with daniel. sigh, I hate to blame that brother of mine, but.... SIGH! *sniff* can't wait to leave M'sia & go study something that I want FAR FAR FAR FREAKING FAR AWAY. my sis is a good example. she got a job in Adelaide already, to my dad's greatest utmost delight. he boasted about it during dinner, just another attempt to make me feel stupider than I already feel. so, you see, all you parents & future parents who are reading this, you can't blame a kid for acting the way he/she does, it all has to do with the way your kid is brought up. i mean, look at me. a kid just isn't horrid the moment he/she is born. its the surroundings. ok, i don't mean to sound like some sick counsellor-ish politician. sorry about that. Ok, gotta start on my add maths project now, or i'll get a big fat 0 for add maths. haih. add maths. what a pain. i'm gonna cry again.

Saturday, October 16, 2004 @ 6:13 pm
not many people know this, but I was such a hermit sometime back.. not only did I not like to mingle, I didn't really care about anything. I think I'm like, seeking refuge in my shell again. Why? Simply because I feel I need to rest. For the longest of times. This past few days have been weapy and wet for me. the past 2 nights I have cried myself to sleep. I wouldn't say cry, but more to.. weap. I called up my best confidante but after a few short minutes into our conversation, I realised that I needn't call him up after all. I was sobbing too much on the phone, he probably didn't even know what I was sobbing about. Although he is my best confidante, I didn't tell him anything after that, when I ended the crying game. Instead, I told my bro, but his advice fell silent. One thing I dislike about myself is that I never really learn my lessons. Sadly, I have been a victim of an overflowing bottle of soda, just bursting to get out. I think there's a permanent seal on mine. I really feel like telling everyone how I really feel instead of making them laugh.. but that is impossible. my anonymous confidante is right, I need to change. Changing is hard. And might be worse than how I am now. That's what I'm afraid of. Changing into someone I'm not.

I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick
it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
not even close
not even a little bit
not even at all.
Katherina Stratford;10 things I hate about you

Monday, October 11, 2004 @ 1:40 pm
had a little disagreement with my 'rents just now. the result? i'm grounded to stay home while everyone else gets to go to Adelaide for my sister's graduation. all because I was saying how hard transferring to Form4 is... all a big shock the first month, honestly. everything seemed SO TOUGH. just like today's Chem 2. terrible. and tomorrow's physics. I can't fail again. I mustn't.. gotta try my best. especially the memorising of reports. my mum kept saying i just have to understand the report, but that would mean memorising. i mean, my dad's whole career is based on 80% of memorising, anyway. (he even admitted!) so, i was shocked that my dad would so sternly ban me from going to Aussie. although i really felt like saying something in return, I knew that if i did, there would be no seeing daylight again. so i just took up my physics book and walked away calmly. in silence. until my mom commented that the mangoes were sweet. lol. dang. what have i gotten myself into this time?? :(
on another note, Jane is the new maid in the household. i was talking to her a little while just now, just to get to know her. found out that she has 9 other siblings!! her accent reminds me so much of Merlie.. one of my goals in life is to go to Philippines one day to find her. i wonder how she is.. anyway, the existing tall maid is frustrated that Jane doesn't understand a thing she says! that's sad & all but, i really enjoy getting to talk to someone at home freely.

Friday, October 08, 2004 @ 4:17 pm
my mom thought i was joking when i told her that today's exam was BAD!!! she went, "no, honestly. please don't give me heart attack." i'm doomed!!!!! i seriously didn't know what to write for those 2 papers!!!! my mind was at a blank. i even used half of history paper2's time to Zzzz... didn't even notice mrs gracie was in class! i must be twitching in my sleep coz' i had terrible nightmares.. that classroom is cursed, i tell you!! everyone in class cannot succumb to sleep during our papers. i just can't explain why... so weird.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004 @ 10:46 pm
I wanted to talk about how the past papers sucked & all but there's so much more to talk about!!! like, the visit of the Jap students from Chiba Junior & Senior High School!!!!!! i'm gonna whack the donkey who told me no GUYS were coming. there seemed more guys than girls to me!! the girls were nice & fair, with rosy cheeks. the guys were tanned but not that tall, coz most of 'em are only 14!!! teacher kept going on & on that we were too old for them etc etc. (but who cares anyway? hehe) noone wanted to talk to the guys at first & everyone wanted the pretty & gentle girls, so ben & i plucked our courage to make the first move.... talk to them laaa, duh, what did you think we did?! the "straw hat guy" had the best command of english..(and he's the clown of the class, i think..coz' he was so funny and cute!!) evelyn thinks he's a mix. well, maybe. but juivy & i think that their teacher was HOT. for a man. i was surprised to see an American teacher along with them whose name is Jim Blood. yeah, blood. he was really cool & explained about the school and education system in Japan. the jap students were really really nice. they even prepared a song for us. (the girls' voices were really high & the guys, really low & loud)before that, they presented us with their school emblem flag thingy, a hand-made card & also a very unique gift of 1000 paper cranes stringed together! the 'hot' teacher explained that it took 1 month to finish it... it was very very beautiful. too bad it would collect dust in pn gracie's room. gives us an excuse to visit her office every morning.. hehe. felt so bad that i didn't get them anything!!! this guy, who taught ben & i how to fold origami cranes even gave ben & i presents! he gave me a packet of crackers & a jap doll-like figurine. wrapped in pink... nonetheless, they were still great gifts. i was shocked that he gave us presents in the first place. WOW. they're so nice!!! and the guys are so cute. in an adorable sense. they bowed at us when we showed them the way to the AV room. haha, so cute!! and when it was time to say sayonara, we stood outside and used the japanese way, bowing! all in all, it was such a cool experience. we're so lucky!! :D

Sunday, October 03, 2004 @ 9:20 am
this week has been long and jumbled up. dunno how many times i had to run up & down to do PA for the various functions in school. not to mention other things besides school.
mum saw report book. didn't say much.. just exclaimed and woke me up. didn't sign it though, wanted my dad to. but just now my dad told me to ask me to ask my mum to. seems like noone wants to acknowledge that this lousy kid is theirs. my parents aren't really hoping i'll pass all my subs in this coming exams either. they've decided to grill me during the long term hols. which is better, i suppose. luckily i got to pon on fri. but in the end, had diarrhoea. and went to tuition all sickly & stuff. but i was kindda happy too, coz i finally answered 1 of chem sir's questions correctly. joysies!
before i log off, just wanna say that i won't be blogging much the next 2 weeks as it will be the exam period & i would be too depressed and frustrated to write interesting entries. sad.
good luck to everyone facing their exams too! MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!!!
by the way.. don't send me fwded mails, people!