flawed work of art.
Sunday, January 30, 2005 @ 7:51 am
oh my.. what a terrible week! Presenting... the 7 Habits unfortunate events:
1) Full day of school on Saturday, to replace last Monday
2) The knowledge of knowing that the coming Saturday is ALSO a full school day, thanks to CNY hols
3) Woke up late (archives)
4) Emotional breakdown that ended in tears (archives)
5) High fever for no apparent reason (archives)
6) Piles of homework
7) Still completing homework at 1 a.m. causing great deprivation of sleep

Don't even get me started on my horrible horrible encounter with anger the past few days. Oh well, Still have tuition to look forward to later.

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I hate love you
Frank Sinatra (westlife sucks) Fly Me To The Moon

Friday, January 28, 2005 @ 11:42 am
today was a rather emotional day... 'almost' let my emotions get in the way of everything. must stick to my 'shut up & tolerate' policy no matter what. but damn, I was feeling so used by my 'friends'. trust me guys, if I really had the time, I'd stay & lend a listening ear, accompanied with awws & ooohs & everything.. but I'm really really worn out. first the sudden high fever scare, then the piles of homework assigned everyday.. it's just that... I can't always be there for everyone.. I'm no miracle worker!! and when I say I can't, they just snub & say that I've changed, that I'm avoiding them etc. I'm no full-time counsellor, or you guys would have to pay me, anyway. Not saying I can't be a friend, just saying, 'please, let me rest. for a day??' no wonder I had a high fever. now I'm all drained empty on the brink of stabbing myself in the chest. ok, not literally laa. point is, there's no use being good all the time, sometimes, you have to get mad so people don't make use of you & bully you.
what's worse is that tomorrow's a FULL school day.. until one. only 1 day of the weekend to get all homework done. ONE! ONE!!

Don't give up, no running away
I won't hurt you
Sometimes I'm just a pain
And that's just the way it is
That's just the way I am
Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when I need you
Laughing's always easy but
Sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
That's when I feel emotional
Diana Degarmo Emotional

Thursday, January 27, 2005 @ 11:16 am
went to school late! aish. I was sleep-talking, going like, 'I don't want to go to school..' & so, everyone thought I was still ill & let me be. but, I can't even recall ever saying that!! my dad scolded me when I told him. he said even if I'm dead also have to drag you outta bed next time. nyeh. he cursed me! lucky I wasn't TOO late. phew.
longest ever Michael's practice. thought it was NEVER going to end. what with a certain over-spirited teacher shouting at people, pissing people off. ishh.
oh yeah, gave archie a nice cow plushie in a red cow box for her b'day. SO BLOODY CUTE! the cow & the box! the box had a papa cow, mama cow & bebe cow! awww.. but I hate b'days. no, wait, just mine. too much attention, I'd melt under the spotlight. & having complete strangers who never talk to you go up & wish you 'happy b'day' is sooo weird too. my b'day last year was when the prefects had to take the prefect oath & so, EVERYONE found out, somehow. big mouths.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 @ 7:03 am
today's headlines: high fever!!
what happened yesterday, or rather, this morning goes into the book of near death. I really thought I was gonna die.. I couldn't move, not even to reach into my bag to grab my water bottle.. which I remembered was already empty. desperately wanted a glass of water.. my temperature continued to rise as I lay bundled with my padini jacket & knee high socks.. I felt like I was freezing!! was so helpless.. the worse thing was that my dad went to work & wasn't back yet.. I have no clear memory how I got down to the kitchen to get a warm glass of water. I do remember, sipping on the water as salty liquid streamed down my cheeks by the stairs, just felt so useless at that time. suffering in the heat & the cold. while I was dragging myself up the stairs, my mother was walking down. & of course, she didn't notice anything, being the same way since that fateful day, not even looking at me. in the end, managed to sms my dad & he came to my rescue with panadol when he got back from work.. it was almost 2 a.m. then. love my dad, man. he even woke me up at 5 something to check on me, told me not to go to school.. but after smsing yong to inform her, I felt like going to school. thought it could clear my mind of the stuff that happened through the night. I can't even remember getting to sleep. sheesh. so, I went to poke him while he was sleeping to tell him that I decided to go to school after all. and he was like,'Are you sure??' & after I confirmed my decision, he went,'ok, call us if there's anything'. sooo nice, right? :D
kysha was super surprised that I was present in school, since I told her I wasn't. my friends were great.. kept placing their hands on my forehead to check my temperature. they even coerced me to drink water! after Bio, I couldn't take it, I went horizontal... lying on archie's chair & mine. heavenly.

Monday, January 24, 2005 @ 11:35 pm
I am freaking ill!!!!!! aish! what the heck is wrong with me??? shivering like mad but temperature rising the same way.. dr chu diagnosed me as having a fever & after a very strong dose of parasetamol, (panadol to most consumers) he dragged me to leisure mall.. worse part was.. he was dead set on us WALKING there. I could barely walk after trembling in the cold shower, let alone WALK there. Luckily, he took pity on me, the moaning patient & drove there instead. phew! after a little walk, I felt much better. and I didn't go home empty handed too! pre-ordered hp6, the only book that tops the bestseller's list even though NO ONE has even SEEN it yet. unbelievable huh? we also got this free mastercard bear with the overgrown feet.. which amused my dad a little. haha.
oh yes, was at cassie's place from 1 to 5. DOING HOMEWORK. I can't believe it. I think that's the cause of my illness. homework, I mean, not her. her mom was sooooo nice, took me out for breakfast at lavender-- the mak family's favourite hang-out joint, since I've been there 3 times with them. =D gotta love the maks. hehe.
still got some work left undone, better get down to it. ciao!

note: realised that all the homework I completed at cassie's were about nationalism! blah. what's wrong with the Brits being the country's government? oh & ma'am william is bloody cheap. yuck.

@ 8:51 am
went to cassie's place!!! had pizza!!! told her that we needn't have to order out, can just eat whatever's in the fridge, but she clearly didn't listen to me. hmph. feel ultra bad now. anyhoo, finished physics & a little bit of maths at her place. must finish all my work before tomorrow, so I can go buy my bare necessaties tomorrow with cass.
received a message from my good ol' senior, jienli! she's at my future college right now, doing her A's. it's good that she still remembers me though, eh?
gotta start cracking. till the next entry, folks..

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
The Killers Mr Brightside

Sunday, January 23, 2005 @ 5:16 am
am going to cassie's place tomorrow. hopefully to get some work done. the past 3 days of hols have been used in total waste. I have no idea why, but I really can't focus, regardless how many times I chant 'Constant Vigilance!', it still ain't working.
The new video I've put up (see how fickle minded I am?) is one of my favourites. What's worse than being sad, disappointed, lost, unwanted, rejected? I somehow picture myself as the brunette Avril in the vid. Maybe one day, I'll be like her. For now though, I have to focus before I get a concussion & fall into a deep and everlasting sleep towards after life. Nice.
Finally did some add math sums today.. it felt good to torture my brain like that. Honest. My brain needed some jolt after yesterday's encounter with stupidity. I did all the wrong things, I said the wrong stuff, I know I made myself look like an utter fool, I needn't ask anyone, I just felt it. Shawn was certainly fanning the flames by saying that he saw it too. ishness. better get down to work. I hope. got 2 tuitions coming up today. how enticing.

Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdie's neck
I'd go back to the jeweller who sold it to you
And make him eat every carat
Eminem Mockingbird

Saturday, January 22, 2005 @ 2:03 pm
So, today.. yeah. super ultra embarassing.. my forfeit for losing the bet with stef, was to hug brad & it wasn't too pretty.. I mean, it was WEIRD laaa. because I was like, asking pausing & laughing while in the midst of asking him, & he went, "faster laaa." it was just so weird, my cheeks were probably flaming red or something. :( but in the end, he was like,"Ohhh." & stretched out his arms & gave me a gentle hug. awww. such a sport. phew! lucky he didn't like, runaway. hahaaa.
had very fruitful catechism lesson.. oh yeah, have to write about Morality & Religion & rules & stuff later. anyway, what I answered her was not exactly what I was thinking in my mind. I dunno why I just blurted it out. Ish. Me & my stupid mouth. haihz.
ermm. watched 'Steal' today. NOT a comfortable film to watch with your father, I tell you. especially the explicit content. However, Steven Dorff sure is hot. hahahaaa. naww, looks like a pig close up. just like his hair. very nice.. overall, that movie is sizzling, very very very cool & unpredictable.. I like!
Hope y'all like the video as much as I do... not a gargantuan ashlee fan, but hey! I have to say, that vid is cool.. :P
You know something, I think I'm going through severe trauma. Everyone I know is going back to Aussie. All in January. First my sis, then Brad & Keith. Just ain't fair. Aussie's such a nice place. UNFAIR!

I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Coz' daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas, I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broke into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Trying to start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
Eminem Mockingbird

Friday, January 21, 2005 @ 12:06 pm
just ran 2 km on the treadmill.. dad's request.. now sweating like a pig, typing while standing up, lifeting my legs once in a while in an attempt to cool down.. going to bathe in a few minutes.. wait till my sweat dries..
if you're observant, you'll notice that i've added my musical icons, lead singers, drummers & also guitarists on the box to your left.. why, you ask? I figured.. since music is the soundtrack of our lives, the epitome of my passion for living.. why not? music plays a very important part in many of our lives, no? to me, music is a key ingredient in my blood, sweat & tears in life. ok, enough about life. it's making me get all sentimental & what not. oh yeah, the reason why the bassists aren't up there together with the rest of them musicians is coz' heck! the only good bassist I can think of is Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers. I heard on the radio once that he strummed till his fingers bled! ouchies!
which brings me to my next topic.. avril & simple plan are coming to KL!!! & also, S'pore!!! & a whole lot of other SEA countries which I'm not bothered to talk about. mic, if you're reading this.. come with me!!!! what's more is that it's around the hols, if I'm not mistaken! yippee! not too keen on simple plan, but hey! at least their not Backstreet Boys or something... I'm excited! wait, just checked.. their hitting s'pore indoor stadium on the 2nd of april. read in the papers that their jamming kl on the 29th of march.. i'm personally into the kl one, simply because m'sian fans know how to have a good time. the memories of the terrible fan reception for LP's gig in s'pore still haunts me.. s'pore music fans SUCK. seriously. they have no idea how to enjoy themselves.. stupid kids kept screaming that it was too hot, too stuffy, too squeazy.. might as well don't come. ishh. it's a freaking rock concert, not Disney on Ice! nonsense. oh well, let's leave that behind while I continue to build my hopes on this upcoming gig by 2 of Canada's biggest punk acts..
sweat still not dry, shall go bathe anyway, coz' I am KNEELING in front of the pc monitor, like worshipping the damn thing. hyukk. better ciao,i hear someone coming..

But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that limb up, little lady, I toldja
Daddy's here to hold you through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise momma's gonna be alright
Eminem Mockingbird

Thursday, January 20, 2005 @ 1:11 pm
So, today.. the beginning of the 6-day long hols. Ahh, finally, a day I can wake up at 10, despite mommy goose calling me at 8 something. why the heck does one wake up so early, I wonder.. hurm... after showing pappy mak JoeJoe, (he says his friend is interested.. yay!) I went to watch AMI. the early epis are always the funniest. it kinda reminded me of the 2-day long interview I had to endure... the last interviewee being the most memorable due to her obnoxious arrogance & impecable manners.. Oh, & not to mention a big fat liar. sigh.
today's entry is a short one as I am compelled to do my homework & stay in my room. my dad is not too happy about me.
p/s: ron weasley is a stupid schizophrenic whack. take that for calling me a b*tch, you dumb @$$.
oh yeah.. and I love Godmama to bits. :P

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes
But I can't live that way
Natasha Bedingfield Unwritten

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 @ 9:59 am
so tiring! I just got home from school. after almost dozing off during malay lesson, I can't believe I went through so many rounds of interviews. *yawn* oh yes, that reminds me. I think the evil witches of the west in some of us kindda came out, which caused a nasty commotion amongst some of the BODs. aih. thank goodness, it was all cleared up.. everyone was just sooo stressed out & worn out. hopefully, tomorrow will be better. oh yes. & hope the juniors weren't TOO spooked out. it was just our job. we don't want the club to be in the dumps 2 years down the road. some of them may even be reading this right now. haihz. hope y'all understand laa.
pn geetha is coming back tomorrow!!! oh no!!!!!! physics papers!!!!!! die die die.
oh yeah, our class rejoiced sooo loudly when we received news of the hols from this coming Thurs to next Tues!!! SUlyn told juivy & news just got passed across the classes immediately. juivy was so funny, exclaiming that they should grab the opportunity to go lepak. hahaa

I am unwritten
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Natasha Bedingfield Unwritten

Monday, January 17, 2005 @ 6:39 am
Meant to blog yesterday, but was too busy having tuition and completing my homework. Hmm, what happened yesterday ar? Oh yeah.. during add math tuition, my dad's leech friend came with a whole truck load of kids. Ok, I'm exagerating.. maybe just a van-load. My maid was like, 'He thinks his own house ar? Come & invite people as he pleases..' Agreed. Not only that, he like, walks around the place like he's the owner. Please. He's always using my dad. He happily just come & take my dad's stuff without even telling my dad. That's stealing, man. When I grow older, I'll make sure I protect my dad from these pesky leeches. It's true. My dad's too nice. Way too nice. Even after my tuition ended, that dude & Do Re Mi Fa Soh La.. were still around, walking around the house like it's some museum. I took refuge in my room. Making frequent checks to make sure that the dude didn't take a vase along with him or something.
Kor sent me to bm tuition, dunno why he was driving so unusually slow, took extra long to reach Sir's place. So few people.. so quiet... so nice!! after tuition, hema's sis fetched jbq & I to jbq's grandma's place, where I asked daddy to pick me up at his place, which was just opposite. A while after dinner, daddy & I were enjoying some famous classical tunes in the cool, breezy air outside. So relaxing... before I knew it, I was on my desk drawing some Bio pics. Bah. So hard to draw, but I grinded my teeth & kept muttering that I like art no matter what. :P
School was OK. Had 2 free physics lessons where Archie was going on & on about something that happened after I came in Sir's door yesterday. Nonsense. Stef started the whole 'hot catch' thing and yissy was like, 'But Celine's not a fish!' ISH. Thank goodness I changed the sub to 'I'm in love!!!' To that, everyone was like, 'HUH?!!!' And I said, 'Yeah! I'm in love!!!!! With... GOD!' After saying that, I had to crouch coz' they were throwing their stinky shoes at me. Bleh. My dear twin was using our (Sulyn & me) stationery bags as hats. Ish. Crazy psycho..
After school, I took a bus with Owner & co. She was like, 'You??! Take a bus?!!! Don't bluff!!' Aish. After lunch at dad's place, then he fetched me home & tada! Here I am! Today, I'd like to end with a quote from Stef.
"Men here are not fit for consumption
compared to the Kois of the foreign land."


I don't believe you know me
Although you know my name
I don't believe the faults I have
Are only mine to blame
I don't believe in magic
It's only in the mind
I don't believe I'd love somebody
Just to pass the time
But I believe in you
And I believe in you
Kylie Minogue I Believe In You
Dedicated to all gay men. The REAL Kylie Worshippers.

Saturday, January 15, 2005 @ 3:26 pm
I overslept!!! Only woke up when yong called me. ish. that Shawn-la, talk talk talk so long, make me sleep so late. Told her to go ahead first, thought I could hitch a ride from Cass. My dad woke up & scolded me coz' Yong rang the bell. Bah. After that, I couldn't get a ride coz' EVERYONE I called didn't pick up their phones. ISH! So, in the end, my dad had to send me... :( aih. By the time, they started returning my calls, my dad was already driving me to school. School's always jammed up on Sats due to the new rule that there must be an assembly first. So, everybody has to come at this designated time.. blahdee. they should've just stuck with the old rule & split the times for the uniform bodies. they say it starts at 7.45, by the time I reached school at half past seven, everyone was in the hall already.
Was so hungry after St John's, so we went to Lavender with the then voiceless Cassie & her fam. After that, stayed around Cassie's place.. dunno why she like the kidney table so much, refused to stay in her room. They went to tuition afterwards & Mama Chow fetched me home. so nice!
Decided to go for Catechism. Class was interesting... we sat on tables! hyuk. Sat with Stef & her fam in church. Michelle was playing with her sister's hand, resting on her shoulder & things like that.. tears were like, welling in my eyes so, I looked away. Really reminded me of my jie. After mass, met up with Stef Ng & *ahem* our cousins! Keith can't remember me! So SAD! A while later, he remembered me as Daniel's sis. lol. okay. Brad could recognise me though. He's really as tall as a tree now. sigh. so sad. i'm only a tuft of grass next to him. Even Keith was like, 'You were bigger than me last time...' Blah. I know I'm tiny, but did he have to say that ar? SIGH!

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me
That we belong together
Dress it up
With the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
Edwin McCain I'll Be

Friday, January 14, 2005 @ 9:05 am
today's addmath lesson was so terrible... Teacher was so infuriated with my class, coz' almost the whole class didn't complete her homework. Including me. But that's because I didn't know how... lucky I wasn't the one she scolded. phew.
after lessons, sarah & I began mopping the floor of the chapel.. supervised by mat nenek of the day, miss hema, who was standing there with her hands on her hips, instructing us to mop the floor properly. after one quarter, she took over from me. then, sarah & I went off to the 'forbidden toilet' to fetch a pail of water. don't worry. No Jacks nor Jills were injured in the process. The younger juniors were afraid of that abandoned toilet because of the horror stories about it. sheesh. we found the secret store room, also known as Aunty Letchumy's private stash. from the tiny little crack in the door, we saw mops, pails, files & even computer keyboards! sneakily, sarah took the counsellor's key from the counselling room next door to try to unlock the door, while I had to cover for her. was hoping for a little more action, but sigh, the door couldn't be unlocked & the teacher never realised we were in there.
after letting aunty maba listen to the cd I burnt for her, hema & I took a bus to P.O, where I saw Papa!! He was on a bus & waving.. Hema said she was lucky not to have glimpsed his suey face. haha. she was not at all suey, coz' she got the 21 bus ticket. it's like if you add up the numbers on your bus ticket & get 21, you make a wish & keep it in your purse. it's just this belief my friends have. hahaa. I got 22. Bah. Hema was so nice, she even saw me off as I climbed aboard another bus to go home.. =) at the CS bus-stop, andrew hopped aboard & upon seeing me, sat next to me as we chatted till it was his stop. stupid guy, kept going on with his futile attempts to hint to me about something. sheesh. after getting off the bus, I spent a while walking home. T'was so scary coz' this Indian chap with a hat was like, following me... and when I saw him from the corner of my eye, I sped up, losing him when I turned in this junction. phew. I dunno whether I was just over-thinking or anything, but he didn't look very decent to begin with anyways. sigh. I HAVE to get my license soon, man.

Let's party
Everybody stand up
Everybody put ya hands up
Let's party
Everybody bounce for me
Some champagne and burn a little greenery
It's hot
Disco inferno
Let's go
50 Cent Disco Inferno

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 @ 7:20 am
School's getting a little busier than usual. For starters, the sports houses have started practice this week. Me, being in Michael's will have to stay back in school till 5 tomorrow. And after that, head off to sir's tuition. Aish. A kind soul has offered to give me a ride, but feel kinda bad. :(
Bumped into Sharmily aka Mama yesterday when I went to make a phone call outside customer-unfriendly Shell. With dyed hair & everything, purposely make us so jealous. :(:( If only Papa was there. hyuk.
Prefect orientation... I gave my first free one to SuJen. I owe it to her, actually coz' of the whole senior-junior blunder on Sat when I was on such a high. Poor girl. I really did give her such a trauma that day. Haha. Hmm, then was Elvyna or is it Elvina? Must really go check it out. She got my details from HuiTing, which was why I told her that I'll sign hers after I've signed HuiTing's. HuiTing came by today & I told her to go find out what I call erm, fangi. SO bloody obvious. Aish. Then, was Georgina's turn. I told her to take a walk with me as I talked a little to get to know her better. That IS the whole purpose of this orientation, right? After that, I signed for her. She gave me a yellow pen too! 'You're a Michael's, right?', she inquired. Wow. *thumbs up!* After that, YenMin came asking for mine as I was adjusting the mic & I talked to her for a little as we were walking around the hall. Asked her about the same things as Georgina.. just that something struck me & I asked her a question she had a little trouble answering. I think it made her pause & ponder for awhile. Hmm. I told the rest who were waiting for me to sign for them that I'll sign for them later coz' I was doing duty.. They should KNOW better, right?
Today was also Mel's b'day! It was impossible for us to forget since she constantly reminded us. (some people...) plus, when I called her up to confirm about maths homework, she said,'Eh Celine.. I tell you a secret..' And stupidly, I went,'What?' To that she replied,'Tomorrow's my b'day!!' Ish. Speechless.

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can
Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Nat King Cole L-O-V-E
Today's lesson: Love only exists in songs.

Monday, January 10, 2005 @ 9:57 am
You know sometimes when you really wanna help but you just dunno how? Now I know how my friends feel like when I'm all down & being negative about myself. It's like adding fuel to fire coz God knows how fantabulous my friends are. I am absolutely lost without them. True. No one (not 'noone', thanks to dinosaur. who gave me damn lousy marks for my essay because of that typo) is perfect. However, sometimes... these flaws & cracks in a person makes them all the more precious. My daddums taught me that when I was troubled over this particular pal of mine in primary school. He said that when you feel the pressures of life pinching at you, there's always that annoying but interesting person who will do something no one (stupid dinosaur) would expect.
today in school when I had to help this newbie teacher, I put the carbon paper at the wrong place. :P trust a treasurer who gives out receipts to do something as dumb as that. I thought she was gonna clammer me, especially since she looked so fierce, but turns out, she didn't mind. phew!
they say the happiest times in your lifetime is when you run freely as a school-going kid. 'What's so happy about facing exams?', I ask them. Furthurmore, in our present society where it's a dog eat world kinda life, you face a lot of back-stabbing & back-biting. this is commonly seen in girls' schools.. oh yeah.. did I mention the constant gossiping? I detest the way people stare at me, thinking I did something I didn't.. assuming I was the culprit.. all this they get from rumours, fruitless gossip woven to keep tongues wagging. I'm so tired of correcting people & what they say. All I can do is do my part & stop passing around these web of lies.
Saw my mad ex-tuition teacher's car just now. she was still doing her mundane routine of fetching kids to & from her home. I went to her when I was in Kindergarten (OMG!) & persuaded my folks to let me stop when I was 11. The way she screamed & whacked kids was plain insanity. I never forgot the way she hit me as a kid, only to find that she was in the wrong, not me. After that, she never shook me ever again. (Thank God!) I hope she isn't still the same wacko I once knew & hate.
Hearts gone astray
Deep in her when they go
I went away
Just when you needed me so
You won't regret
I'll come back begging you
Won't you forget
Welcome love we once knew
Jamie Cullum Everlasting Love
Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason OST

Sunday, January 09, 2005 @ 9:02 am
finished reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom. Very pleasant to read, just like his Tuesdays With Morrie which also makes me think a lot after finishing the last page.
Since I spent most of the morning in the living room reading... I realised that the goldfishies are rather afraid of the kois in the pond. Actually, there is a netting made to prevent the kois & the goldfishies from invading each other's territory, but mysteriously, the kois got through the net & are currently attacking the little goldies. They either have bits of their tails eaten or eyes missing. poor little things!! Due to the bad treatment they've been getting from the kois, they have sought refuge in the Burmese pot, where them bullies can't get 'em. Smart!! Despite the fact that goldfish have 3 second long memory span, which is why they 'forget' they've eaten & will eventually eat till their tummies explode. Not a very nice sight to see. Oh & the stones have been separated too!! they're back in the glass aquarium. from the living room, one can always hear the constant tapping of glass. meaning they're trying very hard to escape. reminds me of Chicken Run. Does anyone remember that movie? Starring Mel Gibson? During his pre-directing days?
Uncle Robert came to the house to give Holy Communion to my grandma, who mysteriously got quite ill after a bad case of diarrhoea. Parkinsons is bad enough, but since she fell ill, her walking isn't very stable. Hence, the decision that she must be accompanied when walking. Especially since my house is so dangerous. (glass, slippery floor, ponds etc)
Kor just came home, after 2 days of not coming home to sleep. hmm. wonder why. anyway, he told me a few days ago that he saw vincent ng at his girlfriend's apartment.. the way he said it was so hilarious. calling vincent ng a total gay. hahahahaa. hope ben doesn't read this.
oh yeah!!! saw a guy who looked exactly like Daniel on my way to church yesterday. he was wearing an England Beckham 7 jersey (yuck) & i noticed his silver footie boots. It was so funny coz I actaully thought it was him, but he said he was not in that area & that he didn't have that jersey. Weird. Coz while I was away in Aussie, he said he saw someone that looked like me too! in CS. (of all places) lol. This is beyond weird, it's bizarre!

If the table was turned would you survive
Here's to them
Underneath that burning sun
You ain't gotta feel guilt just selfless
Give a little help to the helpless
Band Aid 20 Do They Know It's Christmas?
Dedicated to Castalnetta. Who never heard this song before. :P

Saturday, January 08, 2005 @ 9:00 am
slept at 1 something am this morning.. i wasn't sleepy at all, had some difficulty sleeping whilst staring at my room's low low ceiling. before I knew it, i was wide awake at 6.24am. I remember the time. I tried to sleep a little longer but to no avail. i finally finished reading bridget jones's diary though. nice book. I can't help but extend my deepest heartfelt sympathies to Bridget. poor dear. stupid Daniel Cleaver. male chauvinistic pig. reminds me of... nevermind. the person who's reading this should know..
After a long st john meeting (noisy too) & a very very pleasant prefect meeting where everyone got their new probation juniors. everyone but dee & lucky me. hey! that rhymes! anyhoo, was kinda fooling around half the time to vent my disappointment & utter sadness that I didn't have an ickle green horn to mess around with. :( in the end, I kinda acted on behalf of ben, who ponned the meeting (naughty girl) & got sujen!! hahahaaa. wish I did have sujen. she's so farnie but yet again such a pleasant little girl. just like meeee... ahahahaha. okok, you can stop puking now. anyhoo, though elisha is under my care, but sadly, esther made it clear that we were all equal. colleagues, she added. SADLY! elisha's a great ball of fun... but also very very dependable & erm, what's that word?? oh yeah! she takes initiative! I'm truly blessed. hahaa. will be staying back on Mon to help out with the afternoon session.. got 2F. why do I always get the F classes??? Fated! Just like the whole A Levels KTJ thing with Jien Li. It's just pure fate. No buts about it.
after the whole meeting was over, I hopped on a bus to erm, that bus stop opposite pp. What?? I can take a bus just fine, ok?! yenling was like,'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?????' Looks like i'll have to take a bus every single day of the week from now on. it's not TOO bad. I took a bus to & from s'pore last year ok??? plus, a long mrt ride in between as well.. ALONE. so, shut up.
alright alright, so s'pore is just one expanded school compound where the grass is always green & the streets are always clean. Hey! I rhymed again! I think I shall go write a song later since the words are just pouring out through my fingers. Who says I have no sense of artistic talent? Go eat grass. Ptui.

oh yeah, my dad said he wanted to go 'lepak' with me at pp when I told him that my friends went to cs & asked me to follow but I declined. Yes, he actually said the word 'lepak' in an attempt to sound cool. AHAHAAA. He's such an awesome dad. Love him to gazillion bits. :D So, we went.. & bumped into numerous convent girls.... ruihua & co.. rachel with her smokey eyes.. (whom my dad said she looked more like a 'mother' than a 17-year-old. so mean!) & oh, yong & co too! the conver was so funny. here:
dad: ah, ymun, i've caught you lepak-ing!!!!
ymun: er, no la!! I've got omega tuition later..
dad: oh...
me: dee..! don't scold her, skali she don't wanna send me to school anymore!!
ymun: he's not scolding la.. hahaa.
ok, she didn't laugh like that. I added that. reminded me of the sujen thing in school & so, told my dad about it. he was silent all the while. sigh.

There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
hoobastank DISAPPEAR
super nice song. better than sing-along song 'the reason' which is SO pop. sadly.

Friday, January 07, 2005 @ 7:25 am

Being intoxicated with wine can make you take very nice pics. Like this one, outside Penfolds winery.

@ 7:21 am

I took this pic after getting a little intoxicated by all the wine drinking.

@ 6:49 am
I think Jie started work yesterday.. hope it went well. :D
Just came home from school... after a short little QM meeting. Met Mrs Woodhull but had to catch up with her some other time coz' I was catching a ride from Cass. Didn't know that the sports shop was closed.. wanted to buy tracks actually.. now, have to borrow from yong for tomorrow's st john.
was just pondering upon something during english tuition on wed. about mel & cassie's ambitions.. & not being able to fulfil them.. one has the passion to dance. the other wants to do a J.Lo & be a wedding planner. as you already know, their folks are not aware of this & would love them to go off & be a doctor or a lawyer or something. Brainwash. Why is it that all parents aspire their kids to be doctors & lawyers? Is being a doctor much more fulfilling than seeing couples happily married in holy matrimony? Depends. Of course a wedding planner won't be able to succeed in a dump like *insert country with the tallest twin towers in the world*, but shouldn't one have a choice of living the life? even if one does not have a Dr. title in front of one's name? I really have no idea how to comfort those friends of mine... & me? I'm beyond comfort.
while I was in Uncle Robert's car... on my way home... caught a glimpse of a friend of mine from primary school. with her mother's arm on her shoulders. lucky uncle's car was tinted or I wouldn't know whether to duck or to wave. oh yeah... just wanna say that ben's a fantastic friend. great listener. love her to bits.
read so & so's blog.. so sad. I'm not at all close to her. I can only guess what's in that mind of hers. Hope she's alright. I'd rather disappoint myself than disappoint those around me. The feeling of ultra guiltiness is worse than disappointment itself, I'm afraid.

El Eärello Endorenna utúlien.
Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar tenn'

Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I come
In this place will I abide, and my heirs
Unto the ending of the world
Viggo Mortensen
Return Of The King from duh! ROTK soundtrack

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 @ 7:20 am
Dumb Patrol Duty. Walked around the school with my bag & books. Some of the juniors thought I was doing a discipline round. Haha. That reminds me. I never realised that I'm actually Form 5 now!!! The Seniors of the school... I remembered being bullied pretty badly when I was an ickle junior... All that's paid off now... I'm finally a senior!!! WOW!!!! Okok, I'll shut up now. Pappy Mak sent me home after my duty. Yay! Free ride!! Something I desperately need coz' I have no modes of transport now coz' Mr Cunning didn't show up from work 2 months back.
Have to take a trip to the post office soon.. Dan's gonna grill me. Oh yeah. Jie replied my sms! Says I just have to study hard this year then can ciao already. Haha. Hope so!! Keeping my fingers crossed.

Where there is cheese, there are rats
Wherever there are rats, there are cats
Wherever there are cats there are dogs
If you got the dogs, you got bitches
Bitches always out to put their paws on your riches
If you got riches, you got glitches
If you got glitches in your life computer
Turn it off and then reboot her
Now you back on
Can't just put the cap on the old bottle once you pop it
That'll spoil it. Go on. Drink it and enjoy it.
Mama, I'm a millionaire
Kelis & Andre 3000 Millionaire

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 @ 1:45 pm
I never thought I'd actually learn to cry over my sister's departure back to Adelaide. She'll be happy there & I know it was selfish of me to actually think about stopping her. I just don't feel like being alone at home. Especially now in times of great need. Funny how when you don't really want the person to leave, but know he/she's about to anyway, you are virtually speechless.. This morning, I didn't bid her goodbye as she talked to me while I was preparing for school. I just couldn't let go of the thought of being by myself. Luckily, Dan's coming home next month. That's the only thought that's keeping me from weeping like a baby & wailing like an infant right now.
School was ok today. A few of us ran up the flights of stairs like mad tai tais during a sale.. ok, bad example. Anyway, we didn't wanna be late for English lesson again. In fact, we weren't. She was, though. Haha. Oh yeah, and before the morning dew evaporated from the grass of our balding field, our beloved Headmistress sent us all for a walk. I got to escape it though. My fellow classmates came back with muddy shoes, dirtying the hard cement floor has classes droned on.. & on.. & on...

You walk around mad, you let your anger blind you
We walk around just playing the violin behind you
Enough with all the pissing and moaning, whining and b*tching
Sit and observe, listen, you'll learn if you pay attention
Why ten multi-platinum albums later, three diamond
World-wide, we're on the charts with a bullet and still climbing
Eminem, Dr Dre & 50 Cent Encore

Monday, January 03, 2005 @ 12:28 pm
Hmm, what can I say about my first day of school?? Terrible! I found out why I had been so grouchy lately. PMS. Ish. The person on my right in class, Archie, was the one who cursed me. Aih. Terrible. Hema & JBQ went to the 1st class & charissa also went up one class. Erm, jasveen, kysha, yissy, kim ai tiong & a bunch of others are still in the same class, joined by melissa, stef, archie & mommy goose. it's my first time in the same class as some of them. like mommy goose & mel. Unfortunately, not everything was fine & dandy today.. we found out that Rathi isn't teaching us BM, but in fact, teaching us moral? To that, I exclaimed,"How can a devil teach moral?" Oh well, I don't think she's happy to see us too anyway. Hema was happily rejoicing away. She gets the bad Noraini, but is satisfied with not getting Rathi again. I don't think I can ever call Godma, Godma this year. She's my English teacher for the first time! Her chilly stare was so scary... kept focusing on mel, archie & me.
went for malay tuition just now. got 3 essays to do by thurs! better get to it before all the teachers start shovelling homework on me. What a wonderful beginning to a beautiful 2005. Ah...

Times up, games over, you lose, I win
About to show these knuckleheads how to do this here
Ooh yeah, new year, next phase, begin
Look who's got you goin' crazy again
I'm a trend, I set one every time I'm in
I go out and just come back full circle again
-Dr Dre
Eminem, Dr Dre & 50 CentEncore

Sunday, January 02, 2005 @ 3:23 am
My FIRST blog entry of the year!!! & I regret to say.. that it's not looking up! Given a chance, I would love to just blow up into smithereens.. & hopefully, start over a new chapter, or a new book!
KFC, AJ, kuzz & Andy came over on NYE to celebrate.. had a dinner at home & everything. the next morning, after our mini-food trail, (haha!) KFC & AJ went back to S'pore coz' KFC had to go to Paris later at night. Kuzz & Andy were.. most of the time glued to the pc. Andy & his LOTR, Kuzz & MY sims2. They also followed us to church later on. Haha. Both looked so dead bored & rather be in front of the pc. After the oh-so-silent-and-serious annual dinner, that's where both were found glued onto. hahahaaa. I was so sleepy, I slept the earliest. What a bad host! Kuzz has a habit of 'invading' my bed space.. her dandy long legs will be found on top of mine or something. I'm very sorry if you felt anything at all, but I woke up twice to move your legs, kuzz. :P However, I really enjoyed having that girl talk with my kuzz before I *bish* dozed off.
Have NO CLUE why I've been very grouchy lately, maybe it's because I'm down with a cold.. maybe it's because I've been feeling very stressed out. Maybe it's coz' I have to start on the perilous journey one calls 'school'. & what's worse? it's SPM year. Expect to see me with a book 24/7. Hah. I hope so too.

And if they don't let us in through the front door
We'll come through the side
Coz' I don't ever wanna leave the game without
At least saying goodbye
So all my people on the left
All my people on the right
Scream one last time
Eminem, Dr Dre & 50 Cent Encore