flawed work of art.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 @ 1:53 pm
if you've been a loyal blog visitor of mine, you'd have come across one entry about the prefects making a miscalculation & causing the vice head to publically apologise. however, that wasn't enough for the form teacher. like a lunatic, she was urging us to get the prefect who miscalculated the marks to stand on stage & apologise in front of the teachers & all her fellow students. After we told her that it was already done last week, she started lashing out on us prefects, saying that we shouldn't make such a grave mistake, causing the students to clap merrily cos' well, no one really enjoys seeing her beloved class as the cleanest class for three coonsecutive weeks. seeing as I was in a good mood, I replied that prefect isn't spelt perfect & that everyone makes mistakes, but that-- teacher just wouldn't listen. I could tell her dignity was shattered cos' teachers were teasing her right, left, up, down & center. serves her right. karma, I tell you, karma.
you've heard of that childish saying that sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me? my dad taught me that when my bro kept taunting me, calling me names when we were younger. my dad never stopped him, but recited that popular illogical saying to me. that saying never really got into my head cos' even now, words still sting me & haunt my idle mind. especially when they come from the lips of the people you are obliged to respect. like family members.

I'm gonna fight 'em all
A nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone
the white stripes
seven nation army

Saturday, April 23, 2005 @ 3:32 pm
wow. this week has been whooshing by so quickly, I barely had time to breathe.. I think it was the scrabble. coz' most of the time, I felt all forlorn and in the end took refuge by doing what I do best- catching Z's!! hehe. let me recall what I did from mon till today..
mon: there was a miscalculation blunder regarding the cleanest & the dirtiest class. the cleanest class was announced as the dirtiest & their form teacher (a sick bias woman) was so furious about it. hello?! it's not like a competition where you get money out of it...! anyhoo, it was a mistake by one of the prefects & it was the first time I ever heard any top prefect apologising to the students publically. I don't think prefects should apologise for any mistake like that. we're not paid to check the cleanliness of all 17 classes & we do have our own lives.. plus, we ain't robots, a mistake is of course acceptable, right?
watched 'mitch albom's five people you meet in heaven' during lunch. dadda taped it. not just for me-lah, he also wanted to watch cos' we, mitch albom fans love his books, although he's only read the first one. anyhoo, the movie was very nice. cried a few times...
tues: spent my free afternoon talking to cass on the phone. ended up cramming homework till the wee hours of the morn! yikes!!
wed: busy! busy! busy! poor mikes were abused countless of times. can people learn to NOT knock the mike to test if it's working, just blow or something. eesh!
thurs: went to school in the morn to help out with the i.u. prep. still got loads to do but I had to rush off to mommee goose and xin's b'day, where I met daddee, colin, nick, andewu, stef, mich, cass, kysh, yissy & of course the b'day girls.. (hah! I beat them to it!) after lunch at genki, we were off & about, causing havoc! not really la, one by one everyone left except we, girls. so, we went to do some girl shopping!! hehe.
fri: IU day!!!! ARRRRGHH! the day I've been dreading... coz' my dearest elisha/p.a assistant won't be around. she deserted me and left for kl to take part in the ism comp. aish. it was hectic for me & I made quite a blunder... good news though... first time in IU history... the food was all finished by the hungry hormone-raging teens. woohoo! ok, maybe not all that great coz' we didn't have enough cups & stuff towards the end. :( oh well... it was very tiring & to top it all off, a flash flood right outside school. ah, the infamous flash flood of convent. due to our extremely dry throats, we changed into our school shoes, rolled up our jeans & waded our legs through the murky teh-tarik coloured water. eew.
sat: 80th anniversary yay yay concert!!! too bad I wasn't around to absorb the atmosphere!!! was in tasik utara 2 school playing pathetic scrabble. can't believe I lost terribly to andewu. all because of one word- JERK. no, seriously, though he is one and all, but thanks to that word, he got 60 frigging points! jerk, I tell you. good news though.. under 15 team topped their category and will be going to the finals. with ec, I think. hope they keep their heads up though ec is.. well... ah, nevermind.

Things haven't changed a bit since we last met
I bet my bottom dollar you're the
Best girl that I ever had
I never wanna lose you so what's up
I can't let you walk away
We planned to live forever in each others' arms
So please hold on you know
No one will love you like I do
And that's the thing, you know it too
pug jelly ransom letter

Sunday, April 17, 2005 @ 4:00 am
I detest scrabble. I simply detest it!! why? because I was compelled to play 6 rounds of scrabble in one day! from 8 something to 4 something. I could've escaped it too!!! just that Godma was like, 'at least you get a cert..' it's not worth it, man.. *traumatized look* it really isn't. after an unsuccessful first round with ssi for my team, [I was the only one who won. I know, I know, surprising, right?] it was uh, tougher against sri perling 2. I played with the same girl whom I played with during the workshop a week ago. she was good, man. and I had to play with her TWICE. gosh. did she whip my butt pretty bad. our spread was close to 200 the 2nd time around. stupid bingoes, I tell you. anyway, everything was all good, until... the 5th game, when I felt all sticky with perspiration & my brain was so totally fried. I was playing with the same guy I beat in the first round. honestly, I was not putting my heart to the game, randomly putting words and laughing hysterically at that.. the poor runners kept running towards us to get our challenge slips. so pitiful. lloyd was so cute, kept hovering around us, staring daggers at us. he was so nice too, wishing me good luck & taunting my opponents. it got vijay all suspicious and that maybe, was why he lost the 4th game. at the end, I was ready to go home for a nice warm bath.. but the 'excitement' didn't stop there... after mrs yap's long speech about what the top 3 teams will be anticipating in berjaya times square next month, which I wasn't listening to because my brain was already on a holiday somewhere else, some good yet bad news was received by our team. we got 3rd. for both under-15 & under-18. gosh. when she announced that we were 3rd, my jaw dropped and I looked at xin & she went, 'sh*t!' language, woman, language... I walked weirdly towards the front to receive our invitation letters to kl and blinked a few times, realising that the date of the comp (oh my gawsh!!! 11 games!!!!!!!!!!!!) coincided with our school's 80th anniversary & also youth rally. why does EVERYONE like that date?? it's all good and swell though, coz' good heavens, no way am I going to kl for 11 games of scrabble with all the top people in m'sia. NO FRIGGING WAY!
after a quick bath, I hurried off to church.. LATE. and my lower back was so sore!!! so, with stef massaging me while lecturing me for sitting with a hunched back, I got through mass without dozing off.
oh and thanks for the compliment, aj!! :D

I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart
For all I know of you now
Keane We Might As Well Be Strangers

Friday, April 15, 2005 @ 3:35 pm
hello boys and girls!! it's been awhile since I've blogged so decided to update again today.
didn't step into class till english. that's because I had to do p.a. system duty for my school's 80th anniversary concert auditions. some were.. (stealing Godma's quote) a waste of time... hyuk. but I rather like a few that were really good, like the hip-hop dance & uh.. uh.. fan dance, maybe? the strangest thing was, yiswaree actually sang christina's 'beautiful' rather well. we were all pretty amazed and all rooted for her. hahaa. she actually dedicated the song to 'those who believe in me..' hmm, wonder who..
that reminds me, there's a HUGE possibility that I'll melt like cha lin (MLCL) if a guy starts strumming his guitar and sings 'you and me' by lifehouse. the lyrics are awfully sweeto!! I think I've posted them in the past entries...
we played b-ball today!! arch, jas, twin & I, that is. we were all happily shooting hoops under the scorching hot mid-day sun. I think the juniors thought we were insane. hyuk. it was enjoyable though to see my twin's crazy antics, archie's frustration when the ball didn't go in & jasveen's ballet stance. hahaa. oh & my worries over me playing ball wearing a skirt and with my frameless specs too.
one very very very important thing to note before I go... a lady will be coming to give a little speech about her publishing a book on monday in school. she hopes to select one or more from our school to contribute. the royalty's 300 buckaroos, but that's not the thing that entices me. it's the whole name in print thing and as kim ai tiong patted me on the back, urging me to give it a try, I couldn't help thinking... am I good enough? there are a handful others who have flairs for writing. there's cassie's bombastic vocab, hanis' humour and elsa's casual sense of language. we'll just have to see what kind of writer she's looking for.. none the less, this kinda rare oppotunities don't happen twice. hmm..

He wouldn't even open up the door
He never made me feel like I was special
He isn't really what I'm looking for
This is when I start to bite my nails
And clean my room when all else fails
I think it's time for me to bail
This point of view is getting stale
Avril Lavigne He Wasn't

@ 9:29 am
on saturday, a few of the interactors including me went to the sari saujana home after cca. my 2nd time going there. the same 3 kids were there since the last time I visited the place. we spent half the time embarassing ourselves by singing, clapping, playing & exploring. poor sham was kinda traumatized after one incident as we were watching the kids play with the colored tiles. hahaa. I also visited some parts of the home I never knew existed, such as the kittie area, where there were like, a bunch of cats in little cages, some very exotic-looking Siamese kittens were also included. cutesy! we also went to the 'zoo area', where we saw turkeys, geese and chickens. hyukk. reminded me of the lost world or something, coz' you'd never imagine to see something like that in a down syndrome kids' home.
after my mother finished watching and criticizing the charles & camilla wedding at night, we (dad, mom, uncle mel & me) went to a very popular indian restaurant in town.. it was so popular that mostly everything was already sold out! it was the cheapest & fastest dinner we ever had & in mother's case, the dullest. :| she kept complaining that she felt as if she never ate anything. poor dadda was shaking his head so much. my bro and I both agree that my dad resembles bert from that popular children's programme, Sesame Street. and everytime he starts shaking his head, it reminds me so much of Bert. he knows it too, coz' I always tell him so. and he'll give me this I-can't-believe-my-kid-is-calling-me-a-cartoon face.
the next morning, I woke up at 5.45 in the morning! coz' of the coffee and chat thing in church. well, we were only required to be there by 7, but my mother had to rush for mass too in another church so yeah.. after chatting with desmond a little while, I went off to help the aunties with their food. the early birds ended up preparing sandwiches. auntie said my egg sandwich was uh, not worth buying. :P whoops. stef, dez & I were then appointed to sell roti prata & curry.. we were all enticed by the aroma of the chicken curry that we all started drooling. yum yum! we had quite a profit, really. I roped in all the aunties and uncles I knew (and some I didn't) to enjoy the very very very delicious roti prata, while stef packed the roti and dez did the whole curry job. we all were laughing hysterically half the time but I guess that's what made us finish selling it. heehee. even shawn's dad was like,'I'm gonna buy it, since y'all are so cute...' hyuk. I immediately noticed the uncanny resemblance of both father & son after that. a little while after that, I became one of the table-wipers, bussing the tables and clearing the dishes. cheryll was so cute, singing 'I'm enjoying this..' through gritted teeth in a rather sarcastic tone. it was so infectious that I soon had it in my head and unconsciously started singing to the same tune. after a while, she added a little skipping sequence to it. that was seriously so hilarious.. in fact, it was rather fun to be helping out in the whole coffee and chat project. :D may the upcoming youth rally be an overwhelming success too..

The show keeps going on and on but
You'll miss the whole damn thing
I wish I had a crystal ball to
See what the future holds but
We don't know how the story ends
Till it's all been told
On any clock upon the wall
The time is always now
So baby kiss the past goodbye
Don't let the future blow your mind
Joss Stone (not sticks) = Security

Friday, April 08, 2005 @ 2:37 pm
today was an example of those days that zip by in a blink of an eye..
was woken up by godma who called me up at 7 to tell me a very tragic piece of news about a very good friend of mine. It took some time for the news to actually sink in. After that, I was so sad and distracted that I couldn't even concentrate on brushing my teeth. I could never imagine the same thing happening to me and my family.
Spent the rest of the day with that first convent friend of mine, trying my best to console her. I really really want her to be strong. for herself, for her mom and especially for her dad. Was very surprised that I did not shed a single tear the whole day. normally, I'm the sort to go all touchy-feely, like most of them who came today. I'm positive that she really appreciates the students & teaachers alike for stopping by to lend a shoulder for her to cry on. the only thing I could say to her in reply when she asked me all those questions was that the world is bloody unfair. and that good people go early. it's true.
by the time twin, mel & I got home, it was almost 7. my mother was the one to fetch all of us home & yes, I was kinda puzzled how come my dad wasn't the one. in the car, my mother then told me that my dad wasn't feeling well, that he vomited and felt giddy. :( gosh. what a day. my dad rarely falls ill, not till this stage that my mother had to get another doc to cover for him. I do hope he'll be alright. I don't think I can take another tragedy. stupid trailer drivers. stupid cruel meanies who steal wallets and then swipe the credit cards. what the heck is wrong with today's world???!

There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven
And she's Daddy's little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all for
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
Tim McGraw ~ Butterfly Kisses

Thursday, April 07, 2005 @ 1:10 pm
I gave up doing homework after falling asleep last night on my books. lucky I didn't drool... eew. gotta change my schedule now that the school time-table's changed for the worse. one period of p.e? what the-?? and thanks to that, our casual thursdays have become mathematic thursdays, with 2 periods of add maths right after 2 periods of math. ergh!!!!! thank goodness for the teachers meeting. phew!
unfortunately, the luck fell short soon after. a male paedophile teacher threatened to kick me out of the school mag committee, saying that I wasn't co-operating. hello?! is it my fault that I couldn't get any gullible sponsors to fork out at least 150 ringgit for the school mag? what's HIS problem?!! he really pissed me off. I completely lost it after that. I would've kicked him in the place where the sun don't shine but naww, he's not worth my strength. stupid pervert.
had to stay back today to pack 80th Anniversary dedications. I dunno if I've mentioned this but yeah, our school turns the big eight zero this year! therefore, we the organising committee did dedications to raise funds. after that, I went to check on the Interactors and got confused doing the door gifts and realised I was more of a hindrance than of help, therefore, I went to help the juniors with their performance. they were the last to leave. I mean, we. yeah, we.
let me take this opportunity to thank all well-wishers & gift-givers. love you guys!!!

A loss that would have thrown
A hole through anybody's soul
And you were only human after all
So don't hold back the tears my dear
Release them so your eyes can clear
I know that you will rise again
But you gotta let them fall
Joss Stone_Security

Wednesday, April 06, 2005 @ 10:38 am
today. was weird. I can't remember how many people wished me happy b'day, can't remember how many times the happy b'day song was sung. I'm still in a blur about the whole thing coz' I was really focusing on doing p.a. duty without screwing up coz'
1) my senior was among those in the audience. *gasp*
2) I didn't want to screw it all for Godmama.
oh wells, everything went smoothly.. phew! and guess what? our school debaters won! chua got best speaker as well!! she was truly shocked when the MC revealed that piece of good news.. well, so was the rest of us. I really thought shameen did a great job as the 3rd speaker, speaking casually, some parts over emotional, others very very very funny and sarcastic. well, that's shameen for you. after all the hugging and the photo posing, the debaters sprung a nasty surprise on me by bursting out in song. the happy b'day song, that is! oh gosh! I ran for my life clutching my dad's canon in my hands. there were still *looks around* outsiders in the hall, for goodness sake!! after that, the well-wishers came to me one by one. I felt so bad, felt like I needed to give them back a little something... hmm.. anyhoo, my friends were so nice, gave me a nice unique square cake. yumm. and during 9th period in the AV room, my twin passed me an adidas paper bag, wishing me happy birthday!! I pulled out the paper from the bag, and without warning, the whole class started to sing the birthday song. as I read the well-wishes on the paper, listened to their voices all chiming in together and with my twin gazing down at me, I was so touched that tears started welling in my eyes.... my twin started prancing around with joy when she saw the tears streaming down my face.. her wish was to make me cry, and of course, she got it. I know all she wanted was to make me happy though, that was slapped all over her smses & on that piece of paper that thankfully, I did not smudge with my tears. I love my class. they all chipped in to get me an adidas bag and another bagful of chockies!! just like what cass gave me... together with the moomoo box that we love so much when we got archiekins her b'day pressie.. =) oh yes, we met with daddee goose outside school!!! he was really quiet.. until after our auntie mahjongg session. hahaa. we thought him how to say pong and pak pan and things like that. hahahaa. it was so funny to hear him say papan... sorry ar, daddee!! uncle harris was super nice too! got me a few posters to drool on. well, of course I wouldn't bear to....
I dunno why but I have a funny feeling that it didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would..

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cos' it's you and me and all of the people
With nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you
Lifehouse^You And Me

Friday, April 01, 2005 @ 4:06 pm
I am pissed. I know I shouldn't question stuff like 'Why is this happening to me?' or 'Why are some people like that?'.. that's what my driver told me anyway. he's very philosophical, talks like he's giving those kinda motivational talks. errgh. anyway, I forced myself to listen, even when my favourite song was playing on the radio... he told me that he had the same probs as I did when he was young. they ALL say that, even mrs woodhull, who wants me to keep in touch with her, coz' she wants to know how I'll fail in life. well, that's my guess anyway. She said she just wants to know how I'll bring up my kids because my thinking was similar to hers, but in the end, she raised her daughter the same way her mother raised her. *crosses fingers*
Sometimes I wonder how attractive people handle those sicko perverts who call 'em up all day just to 'talk'. My goodness. When I was handing out the Pelangi school dedications, I was laughing at their despo messages, all guys obviously. They're so thick that they can't even spell their dream girl's name properly. Proves how important they are in their lives huh? Furthur proof that, hey, looks really do matter in today's world. Unless you're a genius or whatnot, or you modify other people's hard-earned ideas, like Bill Gates, a.k.a. that guy who doesn't know WHAT to do with all his money. Hmm, money. Today, my grandaunt asked me to call up the bank and ask for her letter. I tried to explain that these kinda letters don't come like, every month, but she was like, 'No, no, it's been so long..' What I'm afraid is that if I let her call, she might get cheated or something. You know, these oldies are kinda like kids, right?
today's cf meet. was interesting. I'm not one of 'em cf-ers, but I was there to handle the whole PA thing. turns out little adeline's bass wire was <----------> this short, [haha, ok, I'm exaggerating on that one] so she had to play by the PA with Mercy holding the chords for her. That IS her real name, by the way. Cool, huh? She's Sarah's kuzz & gosh, they both look alike! Ah yes, I've made a startling discovery about myself during cf too.. I suck at drumming. lol. I mean, yeah, I was using a hanger & my hand to do it, but still I think I suck as a beginner, even with a few kindred spirits teaching me what to play & when. Looks like I'll have to check that off my dream job list. Anyhoo, Sarah's borrowed guitar is nicely hibernating in my room till Mon, when I will bring it to school for her. Wonder if yong's gonna bash me up for that. :P

One more mile
One more kiss
One more word
One more wish
And love will save us
This I know
From this place called Jericho
Hilary Duff + Jericho