flawed work of art.
Thursday, June 30, 2005 @ 9:37 am
feel so carefree!!! *breathes in deeply* I have finally let go of my post as treasurer in the interact club. Yes, I feel old having to retire. but still, it's a huge weight off my shoulders... poor sara.. I mean, congrats! time passes by so fast... it felt like just yesterday when I got the post... haha. okok, enough of this nostalgia.
scrabble inter-class competition was held in the library. xin & I didn't participate cos' well, I didn't feel it was fair since we represented the school & all.. so, went to help out during the finals. guess what? my twin was among the final 3! hahaa. she got 3rd, while sera got 2nd and mommy linhui was the champ. it was quite a quick game. despite my twin being a noisebox the whole time. hahaa..
the past few days seemed to whoosh by ever so fast. or is it just that way for me?
oh and just in case you didn't know by now... guys are weird.

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
I need you in my arms, need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul
If you ever leave
Baby, you would take away
Everything good in my life
And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know how do I breathe without you
If you ever go, how do I ever survive
trisha yearwood < how do I live
my dad's favourite song of all time.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 @ 8:52 am
starting to see the 'old' me waltzing in step with the 'new' me. =) thank goodness! one less burden to worry about. Like what stef said in the AV room when I asked her which one she prefered.. 'There are pros & cons to both.' and then we got cut off. cos' we had the weirdest english lesson ever. even weirder than the time when we had to act like maniacs...
first, she got us into pairs & made us face one another. then, she made us draw our partners in our vocab book! I know my weaknesses, I can't draw portraits for nuts! in the end, I thought I did an OK job.. (I hope) managed to capture kim ai tiong's eyes a little, one of the trickiest parts for an artist. when I put my end product next to my partner's face, I could actually see a little resemblance.. even though I was the only one that could see that. hahaa. according to stef, kim ai tiong's portrait of me looks like daniel radcliffe. hah! I wish!! anyway, we're supposed to write a little about that person & hand it in tomorrow. hmm.. interesting. oh & I'm supposed to interview my dad for est regarding chicken pox & how to cure it. my dad's gonna smack me for not using that time alotted to study. I can just feel it. especially since he said something rather mean to me yesterday. yes, I admit, I'm not a perfect child. I don't score as much As as I would like to. and yes, I've disappointed this doctor dad of mine with my borderline passing mark for bio. but, still? do As really matter more than being a wholesome person with the right values in life? what's the use if I'm a straight A scorer but I treat everyone like crap & go around with my nose in the air? it's ok for a top scorer to spit in everyone's face? is that it?? the As don't maketh the person.
had an interesting conversation with grandmommee goose (hehe) regarding my future studies. I'm surprised she actually said that I'm good in language. did mommee goose tell her something?? really dunno whether or not to drop add maths. first of all, it'll be one less weight to carry around. second of all, I'll get to focus on my weaker subs. like my sciences. *rolls eyes* and third of all, my dad insists so.. so, what am I to do??! I feel soooo sad to see my hard work just stopping mid-way. after one & a half years. plus, I'll have to do it for A Levels anyway.. I really dunno.. and I have less than 2 days to decide. cos' I have to make the decision by thurs. *closes eyes* where's my wonderland when I need it? *yes I am typing blindly right now..* how I wish life was just plain & simple, when 'I love yous' were for real, when people lived in total bliss. yeah, I know that place.. it's called Heaven. and I'm so upset that I'm not there. hopefully, I'll be there soon. am curious to find out how Heaven really is.
err. sorry I side-trailed. won't happen again, I hope!
our class is going on a field trip on monday! though why our class was chosen remains unanswered. maybe, they have VIPs visiting the school, and our class being the most boisterous, have to be hidden away somewhere. that somewhere being an oil palm factory in kota tinggi. our poor chaperones are gonna wish they never glanced upon us. I can just imagine our noise and the catastrophe we're gonna cause. whoohoo!!

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything was as fresh
As the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry
guns & roses > sweet child of mine

phrase of the day: threshold of pain. learnt it during est. it means how much of pain we can withstand. yes, I've heard it before, but this time, I'm gonna keep it in my mind. love this phrase! men's threshold of pain is <-this much->, which is probably why God didn't let them bear children. they just wouldn't be able to take it.

Monday, June 27, 2005 @ 9:42 am
happy b'day to esther lee! :D this girl actually confronted me and asked what mel was up to during recess. she tried to force the truth from me!! the way she was looking at me sent shiver down my spines...
I actually got what mrs cheng was talking about during bio! and I also tried my utmost best at drawing the picture of the kidney. so confusing! my brain was in knots by the time she finished explaining. ergh. how am I gonna be a doctor like this?? my mom has seriously no clue about my abilities.
newsflash: am dropping add maths! dad was so disappointed with my bio marks that he forced me to drop add maths. that's a good thing, right? RIGHT?

Let the dream begin
Let your darker side give in
To the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night
You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night
michael crawford..music of the night

Wednesday, June 22, 2005 @ 8:41 am
class position's out! got number 11. nothing to rave about, really. most of my friends are in the top 10. sighh. friday's open day... yikes!
yesterday's chem practical was postponed to friday, thanks to some budi bahasa thing today. my twin is very very excited about this. she's been bowing and curtsying in hopes of being the model student. crazy psycho.
english extra class was fun! we did a little sketch about a son asking his parents for moo-lah & the grandma being upset that the parents actually give in. our group consisted of kysh, my twin, yiswaree, fitrah & me. it was hilarious! first, we started the whole crazy 3rd person view thing. then, we went on to the serious stuff.. until fitrah & I accidentally mentioned nicholas' name.. lol. yes, yiswaree was supposed to be the son, which we unfortunately turned gay thanks to that statement. oops. our bad.. my twin stole the show though. instead of placing the importance of money as the topic, she went on and on about reusing toilet roll. gross!! slowie's group was funny too. their family members greet each other with shouts of 'oii!'.. even the grandma chimed in! haha..
very bad physics practical today.. :( didn't know what to do at all!! sighh..

So I'll say why don't you and I get together
Take on the world and be together forever
Heads we will, tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other
Fly to the moon and straight on to heaven
Cos' without you they're never gonna let me in
When's this fever gonna break?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied
santana feat. alex band __ why don't you and I
really like this song. it's just so easy-going..

Sunday, June 19, 2005 @ 4:12 am
happy daddy's day!! I once heard someone tell me that fathers' day is a much low-key affair compared to mothers' day. how true.. I think it's cos' mothers tend to nag that much more, while dads are ok with anything.. that's what makes them that extra special. ;)
yesterday in church, they gave ferreros to all the fathers. omg. how I wish I had white hair and 10 grandsons in tow then. hyukk. I mean, seriously... CHOCOLATES? dads don't even like chocolates!! except mine. :):) papa kim was so nice that he donated his to the Celine's Chocolate Craving Campaign. a worthy cause, that one. I gave it to dad during dinner.. dads being dads, he broke it into half and shared it with whoever that could still eat after the very very filling dinner.
it was at capri. my parents love going there. the dinner set up was nice, complete with silver candles, cloth, ribbons.. those kinda things. wanted to take a pic of it and so I did! using pooi yee's sony ericsson. dinner was good too! though half the things I couldn't finish. lol. I was so totally full by the time soup came along.. so sue me!
when we went back home, dad was talking to daniel online. me, being the typist, as usual. my dad was really disappointed and I think he felt kinda pissed cos' dan kept moaning & groaning being in India. I would too but, hey, it's fathers' day! plus, he's been there for so long.. hasn't he gotten over it? my parents also think that the main reason why he wants to go to aussie during his hols is cos' of his ex. goodness knows whether they're still together. not that I don't like her or anything.. well, sortta. look at what she did to my bro. sighh. I knew she wasn't the right one, but my bro was too in love to realise that. ahh, the torments of love... anyway, since I thought dadda was kinda upset & all, I gave him his present. he already knew what it was. dangg. socks! one man can never have too many of 'em! :D

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
coldplay * fix you

Friday, June 17, 2005 @ 7:09 am
my parents share the same wedding date as deedee's! hahaa. was rather surprised when she told me. :):)
today's woman's b'day!! she was really touched and felt she wasn't worthy enough as our friend that she cried! just after she cut her cake that we got for her.. if she only knew how much everyone loves her company.. & how everyone thinks she's oh-so-cute! we love ya, woman!!! hahaa. cass, lyn & I gave her a converse pencilcase. hope she likes it. :D
Godmama's right leg isn't doing well.. hope her leg heals soon. she went to a sinseh. honestly, I really don't believe in 'em. they just munch on some green leafy herby thing and spits it out and it's supposed to have healing powers? puh-lease. what happened to advancements in technology, eh?
everyone's going crazy over the ns thing. some cried tears, others cried foul. honestly, I'm super elated that I wasn't short-listed. so what if you get to place your paws hands on an M-16? you still have to spend 3 months away from civilisation. erghh. I just can't imagine tolerating 93 days in a lousy bed with dirty bathrooms. arkk! now, I don't have obsessive compulsive disorder but I just don't feel clean bathing in those kinda places. eek!
I'm very serious about getting out of JB after this year. So, you can imagine my disappointment when my mother said I was too young to go anywhere far and that she wants me to stay put in this dumb m'sian city with the highest crime rate. sunway jb, she says! SUNWAY JB?! what the-??!! how can she trust them when they're only just setting up campus? I mean, would you trust a first-time pilot enough to board the plane? would you?! honestly!! speaking of the future, I don't see what's holding cass back by leaving this dump. prestigious burnside high school in christchurch, new zealand awaits!! there's no time to fret, just go! that's what I'm telling her anyway. no regrets, cass. no regrets. boss' hopes & plans were dashed when she found out she was one of the lucky people who have to go through ns next year. she cried buckets! I don't blame her. she's booked the plane ticket and all the plans with the college. poor thing! jasveen's off to canada to do metriculation. twin's most probably going to kl. which most of the 5th formers will be going after this too. and me? I wish I was going to adelaide, south australia. where I can stay with my sis... what do I want to do? most probably metriculation or A Levels. before pursuing a degree in media studies of fine arts, like photography. have always been keen on photography. my dad says I don't have talent though. hmph. I'm so hurtt!

Search your heart, search your soul
When you find me there, you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
Can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you
Look into my heart, you will find
There's nothing there to hide
Take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more
Bryan Adams < Everything I do
almost every couple has 'a song'. this one is my parents'. according to my mom =)

Tuesday, June 14, 2005 @ 11:15 am
it's my parents' 30th anniversary! can't imagine that 30 years ago today, they tied the knot!
school was hectic. in the wee hours in the morning, (ok, it was 7 plus, which in my time is still sleep time, so sue me) our class/chem teacher had to give back 2 of our papers. she gave us a looong lecture about us not studying. and some (not me, ok?) even getting the complete answer scheme before the day of the exam. ishh. whose that gundu who didn't share the joys of getting the answer scheme before hand?! okok, just kidding. it's no use memorising the answers anyway. teacher was disappointed in us, no doubt, cos' she received complaints and stuff. poor her. it ain't her fault to begin with.. also got back my est. (english in science & technology) lame sub, but at least it's one more A for me. hehe. guess what? my english and est marks are exactly the same! down to the very last decimal point! how queer.. I was kinda disappointed in myself regarding english cos' I only lost marks for summary & novel. Novel was the worst. I should've elaborated more. regrets are painful.. same thing for chem paper 3!! arghh! I felt like kicking myself! how in the world did I read the voltmeter wrongly? GRR! moral lesson: never stay up late before exams. this is what happens. all the teachers are so strict in marking this time round.. don't even give sympathy marks for effort. sob sob. did quite badly for my modern maths. (now you know why I wanna drop add maths?!) then there's history. 80 last time & this time.... 87! phew! an A1 I definitely don't deserve! hyuk. everyone's got back malay essay paper already.. except for me. I gave her back the paper cos' she accidentally forgot to mark the last page. hopefully, that'll pull my marks up.. teacher had fun teasing me though.. my horrified face must have given myself away. 'Honestly, teacher! I didn't write half a page of novel elaboration in less than 5 minutes!! I'm innocent!!'
we had english 9th period today at the AV room, supposedly to discuss our est paper. however, some of us got a little too carried away, from the moment we stepped in.. my dear twin turned on the radio and there we were, bopping our heads to perfect 10. very bold, she is. ;) we didn't get to finish the paper cos' we kept side-trailing. we were super hyper during that period, it was hilarious especially since teacher played along as well. haha..

There's a woman crying out tonight
Her world has changed
She asks God why her only son has died
And now her daughter cries
She can't sleep at night
Downtown another day
For all the suits and ties
Another war to fight
There's no regard for life
How do they sleep at night
How can we make things right
Good Charlotte__We Believe
Good Charlotte's coming down to s'pore! ARGH! I can't go!!!!!

Sunday, June 12, 2005 @ 4:04 am
'When will you be home?' she asks
As we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer
To where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
And yet she says to me
You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
corrinne may > fly away
hmm, if you're wondering why all the corrinne may songs is because I like her voice. it's so nice! if she could just try singing jazz songs...

spent the last saturday of my mid-term hollies shopping! what? don't look at me.. I didn't request to. funnily, it was mom's idea. and I was planning to go to church too. my mind was muddled over some things & I wanted to get some peace. we passed by church at around 4 plus cos' she wanted to get something from sentosa & I told her to drop me at church & she exclaimed a no. She then asked a lot of questions & grew a tad bit suspicious. she said that she WANTED me to go shopping with her cos' she wants to get me something. hmm. it's been a while since I went shopping with my mom. Since the christmas shopping escapade last year, both of us never mentioned the S word ever to each other. So, that's that. The 3 of us, [oh, did I mention kor's long-time girlfriend was there too? ;)] went to CS & guess what? my mom didn't buy anything! my dad didn't believe her though. hyuk. sure she bought some stuff for the house but NOTHING for herself. this must be a record or something. And this next piece of news is gonna floor cass, I know it.. :D I got my levi's! hahaa. don't strangle me, cass! earlier in the week, cass & I were eyeing those jeans enviously & made a pact to save up & buy a pair. hahaa. oops? :P I am such a pig, I know. hahaa. don't worry, cass, I didn't get anything from bodyglove. ;)
in my mother's head, my parents have 3 wedding dates. one being the registration date, when my dad didn't dress up for. according to my mom, he was decked out in sloppy-looking pants & slippers! hyuk. daddy, daddy. that fell on June 7th, 1975 while the real wedding falls a week later, which happens to be the 5th day of the 5th month of the lunar calendar. so, yeah, 3 dates to remember. my mom was hoping my dad to go all romantic & plan something for saturday night, which in the Chu household means family night. saturdays are family days actually cos' my parents work half-day. oh, yes, back to the story. my dad DIDN'T plan anything, as usual, but he was clever enough to suggest going to danga bay. hahaa. I really do envy daddy sometimes. my mother's face grew all black when we went to a not-so-posh place for dinner so my dad had to bring her somewhere else, after they made quite a scene at the restaurant. anyway, we went to a chinese restaurant. *moans* my mood shot up when I bumped into.... WOMAN! hahaa! she was eating with her family and she looked at me all shocked. well, I was too-la. I mean, we're FATED!! she stays at my place for a couple of days & then when we finally tear ourselves apart, we bump into each other again. yes, sarah & I are truly inseparable. dunno if I mentioned this before but woman & I met very weirdly. it was the first day of secondary life for both of us & she was elected class monitress by the class teacher, who was one blur pot, but that's another story.. anyway, sarah & I were like best friends! it was like we knew each other from another life or something. I don't believe in past-lives but it's weird how 2 people who never met before have such a strong bond. hmm. we still have no clear answer regarding that.
school recommences tomorrow! oh my goodness. what happened to my 2 weeks?! goshh.

Friday, June 10, 2005 @ 4:36 pm
a wise woman *ahem* once told me that there's no difference between love and a simple crush. When I asked her why, this was her answer, 'Love is when you take action of your Crush'. At first, I did what everyone would.. 'HAR???!' what she meant was, love is when you do something about your crush. you like a girl? get to know her! sounds logical, right? let me introduce to you this wise (but not old) woman, my aunt! or more affectionately known as Aunty Jodie. the passing of this important piece of knowledge was done in a singapore departmental store, where a curious salesgirl nearby was also leaning in to listen to our very interesting choice of topic. ok, enough about that. let's move on to what happened today..
mel came over before tuition, where we confided in each other about our problems. one could tell that she had a conflict going on in her mind. thanks to mommee goose, I activated my gprs & mms today. yay! hmm. talking about mommee goose, she wasn't herself today. and yeah, I do know why. sigh. it pains me so.
now, over to my next topic.. dreams! 2 of my friends dreamt about ME in the night.. one dreamt about her funeral and that I was there, weeping my eyeballs out. the other had a not-so-right dream about me which I shan't mention cos' well, the dreamer told me not to. I'm sworn to secrecy! lol. had a rather warped dream myself. it concerned me junk-food shopping in japan! yum. all the beautiful chocolates! you should have seen the size of the chocolate bar!! sigh. am craving for chocolates now..

You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to but she won't let you
She's not so special so
Look what you've done
Now you wish she'd
Never come back here again
Now I'm nailed above you
Gushing from my side
It's with your sins
That you have killed me
Thinking of your sins, I die
franz ferdinand ^ auf achse
the lyrics remind me of the crucifixion of Christ. wonder what auf achse means.

Thursday, June 09, 2005 @ 4:52 pm
sarah went home today... my house resumed to it's usual icy cold feeling once more. her parents are super nice, they got me a tee from thailand! in appreciation for handing back their precious baby girl in one piece. :D tomorrow, my twin's mom will also be coming back from kl.. that's great cos' my poor twin's been feeling so lonely all by herself at home..
oh yes, I really thank sarah for teaching me how to play the guitar. I can play a few songs. not well, but still, it's a start right? what are the chances of me getting an electric guitar from my dad? I'm thinking... zilch! he won't even let me learn to drive, let alone tear the whole house down. hyuk. aww shucks. wanna take up violin again. :( have I mentioned that I used to learn the violin when I was really really young? I think I was 3 or 4. my parents took me out from violin and made me learn the piano instead. had no interest in piano what-so-ever at first though. and now? we sold off the piano cos' there was no room for it in the new house.
I don't want the holidays to end!!! sob sob. happiness is short-lived.

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing toothache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore
Drain the pressure from the swelling
The sensation's overwhelming
Give me a kiss goodnight and
Everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine
Green Day # Give Me Novacaine
am 'digging' green day's 'wake me up when september ends'. I can play that on the guitar! heehee.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005 @ 3:51 pm
yesterday was stef's sweeter than 16's 17th birthday! if you didn't get what I just said, then ignore it. haha. let me give you an insight to how yesterday & today was spent. rather fruitfully, I might add.
first thing in the morning at say, seven, I awoke to a sudden churning sensation in my tummy. felt uber uncomfortable and felt like puking. I sat on the bathroom floor, just waiting for whatever I ate wrong to regurgitate out from my mouth but to no avail. 'what a perfect beginning to a long day', I thought to myself. after coaxing myself back to sleep, I awoke the second time feeling worse and worse of all, kinda late! sarah was all ready, combing her hair beside me as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. it took a while for a tummy-ached me to get ready too. it was dreadful!! eventually, sarah & I met up with cass, xin, nick, colin & mommee goose, where we spent a little while sipping on drinks at vivo's. after that, more people joined us, including the birthday girl. it was really great to meet up with my schoolies again. :) after abstaining from lunch thanks to my tummy upset, we walked around a little before mel & I bade them goodbye at the cinema. 'A Lot Like Love' was the film they were watching and I neither had the mood nor the physical conditions to watch it. so, after walking around a little with mel, I met up with someone whom my friends, especially cass, have wanted to see for the longest of times. xin even said he was 'quite good looking'. goodness. stupid me went and told him and he couldn't wipe that gleeful smile from his face after that, beaming like nobody's business.
today, went to english tuition. most of us, okok, all of us were still not yet awake.. except for mel, who came rushing after softball, full of spunk and energy. haha. cass followed me home after that and spent the rest of the day at my place, goodness knows doing what. I fell asleep watching tv with sarah. haha, that smart woman then took control of the remote as I drifted off to dreamland. after cass left, I had three more visitors, my twin, slowie & meihui. the latter two left for dinner while my twin stayed for dinner and has now 'taken refuge' at my place. haha. at least woman (sarah) won't feel so bored now. they're currently watching 'eye for a guy 2' upstairs.

On winter days the snow would glisten
Like a sea of diamonds in the sun
All bundled up in hat and mittens
I'd be out the door and on the run
To the meadow, my place
Beneath branches of icy lace
Arms held out, eyes shut closed
I'd lean back and just let go
And I would fall to fly
A snow white angel
I'd spread my wings to the sky
How I'd glide
corrinne may ~ fall to fly

Monday, June 06, 2005 @ 9:43 am
just came back from watching star wars!! (finally!!!!) with sarah a.k.a my temporary housemate, and my twin, who drove us there and back again. she's such a cautious driver, it scares me to see her constipated face. gosh. she's really really not herself on the roads. looks like the streets of jb are thankfully safe from peril.. oh right. episode 3. thank goodness george lucas has the sense to do a much better job than with the first two. it was nice except for the corny scenes between padme & anakin got us snorting aloud. hyuk. other than that, I've developed a new found liking towards yoda and r2. they're awesomely cute!! thumbs up to mr lucas again for not ruining yoda's fighting scene with palpatine, like the count dooku tennis-ball horror in episode 2. *shudders*
I miss my jie, who's busy poking old people in the dead of the night. ok, that didn't sound quite right.. erm, she's doing night shifts & still at the old folk's ward whom she doesn't really enjoy working with. well, not that I can blame her, but meh... doctors need patience. (patients)

I had a dream that I was falling
From the sky at 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of no where
You came and rescued me
There must be some grace
The touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid
Corrinne May `` Save Me

Saturday, June 04, 2005 @ 6:30 am
nothing much to report actually. just that woman's coming over to stay from tonight till thurs. for your info, woman is sarah j. :) or as someone put it very aptly, the pretty & cute one. :D
my aunt (dad's sis) came down this morn to celebrate my paternal grandma's b'day. there's this dinner later tonight, which I'm not going to get all dolled up for. I'm not in the mood. sleeping at 4 a.m. sure takes a toll on oneself. as I'm typing this, my mind is whirring round in circles.. feels like I'm in a washing machine. whoa! okok, I'm trying to get a grip on myself. why the early morning snooze, you ask? long story. personal too. so, you can just let your imagination go wild there. ;) can't think of anything? go find a muse.
we humans are weird. who knows what's going on in another's mind? I wish I knew what was real and what wasn't. can't people just be honest? about themselves, to themselves and also to others. my emily shirt says it all: people are weird.

I've been keeping all the
Letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but
I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Michael Buble * Home

Thursday, June 02, 2005 @ 6:36 am
been a while since I last went shopping.. hehe. actually, felt at ease going shopping today cos' I went with my mom's A-OK approval. I decided that I don't want to hide anything from her anymore. I've even started calling her 'mummy' now. it's a start, but as alv said, the ordeal isn't over yet & all of us still have a long way to go. well said, alven, well said. we'll get through this. :D actually, alv's story was what pushed me furthur. by the way, alv, you probably already know this, but I've asked my friend to check the registration list, and toby could not be found.
back to shopping. June is a hectic month, man. it's unfortunate that a whole lot of people's b'days fall on June. sheesh. anyway, can't say what we bought, but I finally bought my apple green top. hehe.
just in case anyone of you feel intrigued to eat macker's grilled chicken foldover... here's a gentle warning... share. yes, share. cass & I both ordered a set each and in the end, we couldn't finish half of the foldover & also a portion of the fries. well, at least she finished her coke light. I threw half away. felt very guilty that I wasted food, but we couldn't lug the food in the shops for fear of getting stoned by the salespersons. oh yeah!! bumped into enid, our senior who graduated last year. gosh, she looks so different!! she was promoting the bliss card, which my bro's company is producing.. anyhoo, cass is so brilliant, I dunno what I'll accomplish at our shopping outings without her.. she suggested getting my mom something. just out of the blue. I mean, not an occasion or anything, just a gift, y'know? so yeah, I pictured putting myself in my mom's shoes and yeah, I'd really like my daughter to think of me even when she's out with her friend. so... cass stumbled upon this lovely shell-like necklace, it was seriously very nice.. and the lady even gave me a discount. super!! and after all that shopping and all, I'm left almost broke. ALMOST. but, not yet. still have June's allowance to claim. hyuk.

Calling all the stars to fall and
Catch the silver sunlight in your hands
Call for me to set me free
Lift me up and take me where I stand
She believes in everything and
Everyone and you and yours and mine
I waited for a thousand years for you
To come and blow me off my mind
oasis = lyla

Wednesday, June 01, 2005 @ 5:35 am
to adeline/moo moo: get well soon! drink more water!!!!
to alven: yeah, I get what you mean. it was a good experience for me. hope it was the same for you

just back from youth rally!!!! really excited to be home.. thank goodness it's the hollies, must replenish my lost sleep. :) you cannot imagine sharing a dorm with girls, especially, when half of them are from convent. seriously.
from the rally, I've really really gained a lot. I cannot begin to say how much. cos' it's just simply too much to list down.
met a couple of new friends, got pretty close with those in the same dorm... for instance, one small little one is always illegally eating junk food on the bed. oh well, at least she shares... ;) and also managed to catch up with some others whom I haven't seen in the longest of times.. one being a supercamp bud of mine.. a very honest one, may I add. hyuk. his friends were a very fun bunch too..
this rally was my first stay-in one, thus, it was very personal. I mean, can you imagine being with the same group of people for more than 96 hours? whoa. sounds long. anyway, it's too personal to talk about it here la. so there. :D
my mother came to visit me twice on the last two days.. she goes for mass there when there isn't any morning mass at the one near our place, so, don't get me wrong, I'm no momma's girl. ;) too bad my 'rents were busy with work & couldn't come for family night. shucks.

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way
And I will always love you
My darling, you
Bitter sweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So goodbye, please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you need
whitney houston + I will always love you