flawed work of art.
Monday, January 09, 2006 @ 11:18 am
haven't felt this furious in a long time. ok, maybe since spm period. if you've read fang's blog about her tirade with her parents, make this entry a part 2.

fang & I had planned to take a trip down to the new jusco today to see how bhuge it really was. however, things always don't go down as planned. especially when there's always a grey cloud above you. I should never have woken up today. I should've just slept on till the cows come home, or till they find me lifeless on the bed, head down, foaming at the mouth.

I wish.

if only life was that simple. 3 days till departure and I really can't wait. of course I don't enjoy leaving the comforts of home or the warmth of my fantastic bunch of friends and family. although my parents are being very edgy, I don't blame them. cos' I'm the baby of the family and they're just having difficulty coping with that. even though I don't blame 'em, it doesn't mean that I'm dealing it with a wide smile. it's been rough and has caused me to add several pages of misery to my life. but, I'm not gonna attempt to do something stupid. simply because I still have love in my heart. for my family, friends and God. and I would simply just be letting them down by doing so. darn, I feel like crying right now.

I blame myself for being 17+ and not demanding attention. you don't know how difficult it is getting someone to take you seriously. my dad used to scoff at this and I'm sure many other adults agree with him. I am paying the same amount as everyone else, why should you be treating me any different? so, is it my fault that when I call up the visa application center, they either refuse to answer my calls or tell me that their server is busy and tell me to call again later. and when I do call them later, they tell me to do the same. and this goes down-hill as it gets my parents all angry that I can't even complete a simple task of ringing them up. my mother, especially can't shut up about the fact that I should hurry them every day to bug them about my visa. guess I was wrong that since I'm paying good money to get my application done, they'd take it seriously. trusting people easily is part of my nature and I did trust them to get it done by wednesday. since I did write them a letter and all. and what did they do? chuck it at british high commission. don't you just love the way m'sian companies work? if everything does go well and my parents do go insane and permit me to get a law degree, I'm gonna bring all these brainless companies down to the ground and ask weiyi to set them on fire. from today onwards, I vouch that I will not trust people so easily and treat them nicely. instead, I will look at everyone in a negative manner and think everyone's out to do something evil to me. pth. and that will just transform me into mummy dearest. my sister and I promised that we wouldn't become like her and I won't break our only sisterly promise. that's the least I could do.

shall be flying to kl a day earlier with mummy dearest to give the stupid visa application people a nice shelling get my passport and will be flying off the next day to UK. so, yes, I'll be leaving jb a day earlier instead. the scariest part for me isn't going to a new foreign land. it's spending the whole day with yours truly. she's not gonna make it a stroll in the park, that's all I'm gonna say. as far as bad daughters go, I have one thing to say: I forgive her. even if she hurts me by saying things like 'not that I'll enjoy it.' when referring to staying the night in kl with her last kid. you know what the saddest thing is? the feeling's mutual, mother.

p/s: thanks fang. very very much. for staying by my side and calming me down and making me chill. cos' without you, I think I would've done something really dumb and regrettable. cheers babe. your angel's always there for you. and yes, ve shall vork our butts off this year. (for me, a year and a half)

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