flawed work of art.
Friday, March 24, 2006 @ 1:03 pm
I got an A for my C2 Mathematics. lalalala. and my teacher has finally seem pleased with me. finally.
another beautiful day outside. nice and warm. max thinks otherwise, but I just can't help smiling and not shivering, like usual.
I wanna go back to london on the 16th, instead of a day earlier. cos' I wanna go to church on easter vigil. I've always liked easter vigil. cos' I'd be sitting next to dad, who can't escape from mass, no matter how hard he tries. it's funny to watch dad look around the church in an inquisitive manner. but not this year. my parents are going to ipoh for my grandma's b'day celebration. pity james doesn't wanna take the morning flight on 16th with me. he says he wants to take the night one, so he can sleep. aih. lousy.
I think I'll follow wan to london tomorrow. going to some huge toyshop to buy his mommy's b'day gift. a life-size teddy that costs a hundred pounds! my gosh!! but wan's a funny one. he gave me chocs the other day, cos' he says he doesn't mind spending money to bring smiles to other people's faces. I know a lot of ladies out there who'd not waste any time getting him to buy them stuff. gold-diggers.

Thursday, March 23, 2006 @ 3:55 pm
argh! stupid max ruined my blog entry. was actually halfway through when his dandy long legs had to turn the main switch off. whack him, man! okay.. lemme think what I was saying... ah yes, the weather in croydon is pretty good today. I love spring. hahaa. the walk from town to college through the park was actually pretty enjoyable. haha. beautiful flowers with quite a number of people out to enjoy the warm sunshine. even glimpsed a couple of the college kids lying on the green green grass. after my nice burger king lunch, the stroll through the park really made me feel like smiling like an idiot, but... I was too busy occupying myself by taking photos of the nice nice scenery. never noticed the medievel-looking rapunzel tower in the park. it's super tall and uh, brown. the funny thing was it's so monstrous I can't believe I didn't notice it! maybe it was because I was too concerned with walking quickly to my destination because of the blistering cold. or perhaps, it is the fog. oh well. whatever it is, I'm glad I noticed it today. no wonder my college's logo is of a tower. I feel all fairy-tale-ish.
actually wanted to catch pride & prejudice at the david lean cinema at the library. but it was all sold out. sigh. at least I managed to borrow 2 other books and got a chance to enjoy some live jazz music at the cafe. roger (bass/vocals) & peter (saxophonist) totally rocked. although the only folks sitting around were senior citizens (except me, of course) who were bobbing their heads or tapping their feet to the rhythm of the music. when I first entered the library, roger was singing 'you are the sunshine of my life', which is a fantastic song. lisa ono did a great version of it, by the way. oh and another reason why I like england, besides the fact that the oldies aren't afraid to express their appreciation for music, is that it's so liberal. a lady a few feet away from me just raised her shirt up and let her child drink milk from her bosom. yeah! try doing that in malaysia! you go, girl! but her child didn't look like, it was less than a year old or something. it looked pretty old! err.. being a kid who stopped being breast-fed after one month, I find it odd. it may be uhm normal, but to me it ain't!
let me introduce you to arthur, this russian college mate of mine. he rocks. you know why? he bought me a 4-finger kit-kat yesterday. he just plopped it onto my lap when I was conveniently sitting in the com lab. how thoughtful. unfortunately for me, I was surrounded by 3 hungry friends who each took one. serves max right for being greedy, he bit into his cheek as he ate the kit-kat. harhar. cursed. God is good.
I vow never to buy chocs anymore from the college vending machine. they jack up the price so much higher than the normal newsstands. what's their problem?! not supporting the school canteen anymore. they must be filthy rich by now! I'd rather walk daily to town to try every restaurant than eat there. terrible money-making guzzlers!
8 more days. no, let's make it a week. can't wait to go homeeeeeeee! oh and mom said she can buy the earlier ticket I want for a hundred ringgit extra from other travel agents, if I can't get it. cool! I'll be home soon! yay!

I missed the opportunity
to get you to stay with me
never thought I'd regret the excuses that I've made
like a song, it will fade
if there's music in the night
and it's really really right
it's the only thing I need
it intoxicates your mind
all your troubles left behind
so come on and take my lead
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you
jamie cullum`mind trick

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 @ 12:47 pm
wan was so nice today. gave me some chocolate. and it wasn't those lousy type either, it was some organic dark chocolate bar which had a bittersweet taste. looked very pricey with the fancy schmancy brown wrapper. probably costs 3 times the price of a normal cadbury bar. which brings me to a very important point... I bet you didn't know that croydon, east croydon to be exact, is the home of Nestle. woot. what could a chocoholic ask for? there's a huge Nestle building in the heart of town as well. but no, that's not the place you go to when you're craving for chocs, cos' faisal went in to ask once and he was embarassed to be ridiculed by the security personnel. whoops.
just had the most relaxing accounting class. only cheryl, andy & me were present. the rest of them absconded to the London School of Economics Open Day. I didn't go cos' I didn't feel like wasting my day there. and according to GB's honest confession, it's just an excuse to go down oxford street to go shopping. delightful.
I'm free for the day already, feel like going to town for coffee later. hmmm. I completed all my homework yesterday and am probably going to read in the library before heading home.
it's a lovely day today, with the sun shining brightly on water tower hill, where a lofty block of brown called ctc is situated. oh yes, it's the peak of elections this week. with posters occupying every spare space on doors and walls. I like amanda's and simer's catchy lines. albeit promises that they can't really stick to. oh wells. I've been asked a couple of times why I don't want to join the student committee election. I'm just chicken, I guess. don't really want competition. fear, maybe?
I'm thinking of skipping the newsletter meeting which is in 2 minutes. should I? sigh. I should just go home and.. dang, no work to do... so I guess I'll just stone.
I'm in a super blogger's mood today. too bad I already handed my thumb drive to fuisze for my newsletter article thingy, or I would post some lovely photos as well.
oh yeah, read an article from shirlene's magazine yesterday that said that brazillians are the most helpful people in the world and guess who were the least so... M'sians!! only 40% of m'sians helped the blind to cross the road. shame shame.
am broke at the moment. too lazy to go to a cashpoint to withdraw money. am gonna end up buying an extra big bar of twix and regretting it later. celine growing fat. miraculous but true.

if you see me walking down the street
and I start to cry each time we meet
walk on by
make believe that you don't see the tears
just let me grieve
in private 'cos each time I see you
I break down and cry
dionne warwick.walk on by

Monday, March 20, 2006 @ 3:47 pm
Okay. I take it back.

for years, I dreamt of the day I would finally be able to release myself from the comforts of home and into the wilderness of the harsh outdoors all by myself. but being so far away from home has its drawbacks of course.

no one to complain to. especially now when I'm still down with the cold, the weather is a menace and my Achilles heel/tendon is hurting like nobody's business. =( I dunno why there's a big old blue-black on my tendon. it's been hurting since last week, but it got worse today and lo and behold, I pushed my sock back to reveal the ugly bruise. haih.

11 days. I can do it!

will be seeing you (shawn) when I touch down in jb. open your arms big big and give me a big bear hug (for the first time since I came to this stupid cold country), aite?

p/s: I think I did so-so for my C2 maths mock test today. la dee da.
p/p/s: v for vendetta is a fantastic movie. watch it!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006 @ 3:42 pm
alright alright. so, my results weren't all that 'powderful'. but I had more As than I expected. 5A1s, 5B4s and a D7 for my bio. and you know what? I'm not even disappointed about them. cos' heck, it's over and done with and xin's right, no use crying over spilt milk. or even whining about it. because, shanmugam is gonna love me for getting an A1 for my Malay. WOOT! eat that, heryati! after all your nonsensical blahs about us being not good enough in Malay, I actually got an A1. and it's all thanks to Sir! *salutes Sir* can some kind soul in jb go tell him the good news so he can write my name on his board of fame? hahaha. wonder how archie, jasveen & woman did. we all made a pact to get our names on there this year.

daniu kor's getting a honda civic. WHAT?! my dad sure knows how to pamper his son. ok, sure, daniu kor deserves some credit for getting so far in his medicine studies, but a brand spanking new car?! we don't even have enough space for it at home! I've decided to save as much here as possible too, cos' a car would add another burden on my parents and therefore, I should be saving every pence. in fact, I picked up quite a few pennies from the floor already. when my friends look at me quizically, I explain by saying, 'try multiplying that with 7.' being here is that frightening, my friends. *shakes head* why do you think I can't wait to go home?!

I'll be back in M'sia from April Fool's Day to the 15th. for all the kl-ians reading this, I'll try making my way up around that time. so, don't worry. I can't wait to see the lot of you too!

mum seems to be calling me more often these days. maybe it's cos daniu kor's back already and she needn't call him, so she's diverting all her attention to me instead. or maybe it's cos' I told her that I might want to go to an Aussie Uni, so I can be closer to home. dad scoffs at this, saying that it'd make no particular difference. well, the main reason is cos' I don't think I can stand living in this college for the rich and the famous. yeah sure, it ain't as prestigious as Eton, but as dad says, we're paying through our noses. plus, I detest the British culture of smoking, getting high on weed and drunk on loads of hard alcohol. oh and the whole times 7 thing doesn't help either. and you know what's one of the biggest reasons why I wanna go to Oz instead of staying here? (besides the dumb Brit weather...) I MISS BEB. I hate being 12-13 hours away from her. *sniffles*

ok, I'm a bit emotional today cos' I fell ill again. cold, fever, sore throat all over again. argh! I hate the weather!!!! when beb asked if I took care of myself, I couldn't honestly say yes. cos' I guess I haven't been. truth is, I'm too tired to do so. even more honestly, I feel that I need my friends & family to lean on. as I told max yesterday, I miss being able to ask dad for some medicine or whine about my ailments to my kakak. I can't do that here. which was why I felt so helpless that I started tearing a few days ago. this might sound totally spoilt of me, but I guess I am spoilt in a way. and I miss all the pleasures that I take for granted when I'm home. like clean, pressed laundry, meals anytime, walking around with only a t-shirt... that sorta thing.

seventeen days more. bear with me, all.

Saturday, March 11, 2006 @ 10:09 am
my goodness! is it just me or are there a lot of tags about food and weight issues on my board?? here are the replies to all flooders:

weiyi, at least you have good food at your cafeteria. yesterday, I saw some yellow pasta thingy with a browning brocolli in it that made my tummy churn.
val & cass seem to be reminiscing about asian food, which I can get here, thankfully. so far went to an indian mamak's to eat a 6-foot-long dosa, ate chinese sweet & sour pork in camden and had rendang at a m'sian restaurant right here in camden. mangkuk! this is making me hungry..
adeline! like I said, i'll visit you in school. sometime soon. heh. that goes for you too, yong!
yongness! I can actually pretty easily go to your place by foot from my house anyways. haha. how could I forget my 35A friend? haha.
last but not least, tasha! I miss being smothered with motherly affection. boo..

this morning, I was shaken awake by my trusty motorola e378. I had set the alarm at 7.45, but I realised that it was actually a phone call from my housemate, hilary, so I picked it up rather sleepily then proceeded to tell me that she had dialled the wrong number. oh wells. but that was actually a not so bad thing cos' a few minutes later, I received an international call. at first I thought it was my parents, but when I heard the person on the other side go, 'woman!', I thought I was dreaming. you'll never believe it! it was my dear fang!!!!! oh how I've missed her so! and before we knew it, she started crying on the phone. whereas I needed to pinch myself several times to reassure myself that I wasn't in lala land. thanks beb, for calling me. it's been ever so long since I heard your voice. haih. and there was nothing wrong with my voice ok? it's just my unawakened voicebox.

max has gone to london. lucky fart. his folks are down so his dad fetched him from his hostess' all the way to their humble abode in london. his dad is uber cute. when I told max that, he thought I was gonna hit on his dad. which is a no-no, ok? he's like my dad. cute, in a fatherly old man kinda way. I miss my dadda too!! lucky donkey, that maxi.

yesterday was the first day I got teary in college. dumb, perhaps, but since I've showered a great deal of tears onto my alma mater floor in my 5 years there, I consider this a ground-shattering moment. the emotional, small kid in me just couldn't hold it in. I wish I could tell you the reasons why my flood gates leaked, but that is a story for another time. I have 19 minutes left of online time and.... oh my gosh, I just glimpsed upon a goth. and it's not geoff!!

p/s: phone credit is still standing at 0.07 pounds, so don't anticipate a reply if you've smsed. =)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 @ 4:12 pm
tomorrow is econs mock test day and what on earth am I doing in the com lab blogging?!


this coming monday is spm results day and from what I hear, my ex-schoolies in kl are going down to jb to collect them in person. I dunno whether to consider them lucky or not. cos' well, I don't really wanna know my sucky results but hey, I know it's gonna be sucky so I might as well face the music right?

by the way, the com lab is filled with 'nice-smelling' hormone-raging dudes playing counter-strike. normally, it's just the Russians, but today, it's international play day. unofficially anyway.

and just now, when I opened the door to my locker room, I had the luck to interrupt a couple who were in that little pathetic locker room. I couldn't help feeling embarassed and kept apologising non-stop. I think I will detoxify my eyes by wearing my glasses tomorrow instead of contacts.

uh. bad news. called the m'sian airlines london HQ today and they said I have a long while to wait. yes, am still on the waiting list for 31st. I could go back on april 1st but then, I'll have to fork out 35 pounds to get a cab to heathrow. I dread the thought of taking the train and tubes cos' I'll be lugging my luggage up and down the stairs solo. and my initial plan of taking the bus was shattered cos' there're no buses to heathrow at 6am. I don't think there are any trains from the stop near my house either!

yesterday, I weighed myself. I've piled on 2 kilos since I came here. hopefully, I'll get to shed it off. the heavy meals and freedom to buy chocolate from the rarely empty vending machine is doing more harm than good. I know a lot of you out there think I'm malnourished and what not but, seriously, I don't wanna come back and have NO ONE recognise me!

on a lighter note, (no pun intended) the weather's picking up. flowers are blooming here and there and today when I walked out the door, I felt like I didn't need any coat at all. I just wore it cos' it was slightly drizzling. spring, here we come!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 @ 2:05 pm
the road to recovery is a long and strenuous one. after one plus week of having the cold, I'm very glad to announce that I'm now as fit as a fiddle! :D

daniel kor's finally got back from icky india for good. I'm happy for him & really can't help thinking when I'll get to go home for good as well. *imagines*

am currently trying to study my economics. something about total revenue. I don't really mind econs though. am surprised I'm not doing too bad at it. unfortunately, the same can't be said about maths. haih. the only subject I did before coming to college and I'm doing the worst at it. shirlene reckons I need practice. I reckon I should've forced my way through the law class doors regardless of whether the college administration allow it. sigh. can't wait for my law class in sept.

as for future career options, I'm still at the fork of the road. I've somewhat figured that it's gonna be between accounting, law and economics. however, I'm not at all close to anyone who's in any of these fields so that's gonna be a bit hard to decide.

good thing is, I'll be home in 24 days to hopefully sort things out with my family and come to a conclusion. I've taken some neat photos that I plan to load onto my home pc too. too bad I've no laptop here. it's hard to access the pc at my host family's place. they're a bit touchy about me using their stuff without paying a cent. and you thought the Chinese were ngiao enough.

something I've not grown accustomed to at college is the whole PDA between couples thing. ironically, just as I'm typing this, one brit indian girl just stormed off after telling her boyfriend not to lie to her. that was a drama moment. pth. like you're ever gonna marry someone from college. ok, no offence to hilary's sister and her boyfriend cos' well, their case is special. it actually involves love and not sexual attraction or lust. people here know nothing about love. all they care about is fulfilling their sexual desires. meeting random hotties at clubs, getting laid etc. there's gotta be more to life, man. unfortunately, I don't think they've got the substance to see past all that.

called shawn yesterday. my bestest best gay friend. okok, shan't say that. anyway, the moment I heard his pervertic voice going 'hullo', my eyes just welled with tears. I miss hanging out with shawn and making him laugh at my stupidity. I miss linking arms with fang and hugging her openly in public regardless of anybody saying we're lesbos. I miss putting my arm around dad and talking about the simple pleasures in life. I even miss opening my room door to let the whimpering furbster in when it whines like crazy every morning outside my door. I miss hugging my loved ones and absorbing their familiar scent. cos' here, I can't hug anyone like that. guys would think I'm trying to lure them and girls would just call me a frigging lesbian.

can't wait to go home and relish in the nice tropical weather of sunny malaysia.

I miss everyone back home!

you guys should know who you are. mwax.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006 @ 9:35 am
you know the feeling of adrenaline rushing through your blood streams? that's what's happening to me right now. *sniff* still got that nasty flu though. oh wait, it's cold, not flu. according to my know-it-all hostess who so 'nicely' rectified my language. ok, whatever. I've been ill for so long now that I'm really immune to everything else but my leaking faucet-ish nose. oh yes, back to adrenaline rush, upsettingly enough, the red hot chili peppers gig in paris is on june 9th, in the midst of my AS exams. argh! there's another show on june 14th but I dunno whether my exams'll be over by then. you might be thinking, 'hmm, paris? isn't this girl in london?' well, guess who's got the last laugh, mate? thanks to eurostar, I can reach paris in a couple of hours. woot! must go travelling around europe after exams. whether or not I'm going moshing at gigs is a different matter. in fact, fall out boy's playing on may 25th in london! ahahaha! I would go, but hey, it's a thursday and I'm not a HUGE fan anyways... oh well. I know bom jovi's playing soon as well. and arctic monkeys, which is really huge here. I've no qualms about that since I've always liked brit indie.

right now I'm in the college comp room, got a class in 45 minutes time. behind me are the russian counter strike gang and a dumb brit indian couple who enjoy nothing less than picking on 18-month newbies such as myself. by the way, what's up with the british and the F word? it's like a must-have in every conversation and possibly, every sentence. makes me NOT want to swear. which is definitely a good thing since today is the start of lent. and I'll be going for mass after col today. see what a good catholic I am? yay me! am also fasting as well, but did pop a strepsils into my mouth just now because my throat was clogged with phlegm. yuck. I never knew that the day before lent, the british eat pancakes. weird! it's a culture really, and even though I didn't step into the canteen yesterday, hilary told me that they sold them at 70p each! daylight robbery!! just like hiking the prices of flowers & chocs on v-day!!!

speaking of hilary, I must extend my apologies to her. she read my blog last weekend & I understood that she was hurt by my comments regarding her. I'M SORRY, HILARY! it won't happen again.. I promise.

this time next month, I'll be on my way home to sunny m'sia. woot woot! it's not just to 'celebrate my b'day' since well, I never hold b'days in high regard. c'mon people! it's just a day to remind you when you were born into this sick, sick world. what's there to be merry about that?!

today is a lovely sunny day in croydon. shouldn't have worn my coat, really. it's just a great day to sit outside and sip on hot chocolate. gosh, i'm turning british!