flawed work of art.
Friday, April 21, 2006 @ 3:42 pm
as I'm typing this in the college com lab, some boys are playing footie outside. dk hit the window. lucky I'm not by it...
shawn has requested me to blog as soon as possible. sigh. wish I could've blogged sooner myself, but have religiously been adding diary entries in my book at home cos' of the lack of technology to do so on chuceline.blogspot.com.
I only just came online & got bombarded by news from m'sia. some good, some bad. oh, right, back to me.
posters about the ball & international evening are everywhere on the college walls & doors. before I even came to ctc, I promised myself not to go to either of those social events. but, I have no idea why everyone has been egging me to go. ryan, joseph, kenta, geoff etc. hello. do I look interested to pay £30 to go to some fancy schmancy ball dressed in a frock that has to be between knee to floor length? I don't think so. kenta reckons it'll be fun. with booze, hot chicks (yeah right) and 2 good rock bands. personally, I can't be bothered. £30 is a lot of chocolate.
hil & I have yet another thing in common. weight issues. I'm way past that stage since I already suffered enough when I went back to jb. but, she's going through all the worries I went through now. I don't think we're fat at all, we just gained weight, that's all. and I'm getting to grips with that too. I'm only eating when I'm really hungry and when I can't ignore the stomach growls. hence, am not being a pig by stuffing myself whenever I see treats. heh. but arthur, who gave me a bar of snickers 2 days back & thet, who gave me a bit of chocs just now, aren't helping. sigh. temptation, temptation.
the week has been such a blur. it was hard catching up with old work, but hopefully, I can catch up with some work in the weekend. no, am not going to town this weekend. except probably to buy my thick files for econs and soap, cos' I'm running out. other than that, I'm gonna stay home and rot with my books. I owe it to myself.
outside the books, college has been uhm, awkward. old friends turn into strangers & vice-versa. it's weird. but I've been trying my best to distract myself with my studies. and yes, I think it is working.
I must thank siang & shawn for sending me off on easter sunday. didn't sleep at all that whole night and instantly fell asleep once I sat my butt down near the departure gates of senai. it was hard for me, so, I really give credit to those 2 gay fags who shared my burden. note to all in jb: please keep shawn's paws OFF siang, thank you!
so, mel has a blog. yay! welcome to the kingdom of blogs! and I trust you'll find the experience a pleasant one.
and yet again, my accounting test period marks came back today as a surprise. 39 over 41. I imagined it to be much lower, due to my sluggish brain trying to restart itself. oh well. another unsolved mystery.
ah yes, walked to college today with hil & apek. it wasn't planned. I was just tired of waiting for the 403 bus after 3 403s from the opposite side zoomed by. and being the unfortunate celine, when I walked swiftly to cross the road to join hil on her walk to school, the 403 came. the grey cloud above my head never disappears. which has come to my attention that I'm either clumsy or just plain 'swey' (unlucky). I mean, seriously, who else falls down from stairs in public, embarasses herself in econs class when she gives a ridiculous answer, struggles to open the college doors in front of someone she's trying to avoid etc etc? I'm so tired. everything has not been going smoothly since I left for senai airport. being thousands of miles above ground while having a tummy upset and not being able to eat is a terrible experience, that I hope I never have to experience. plus, I got told off by mr 52C for putting my bag-pack at a place that will 'obstruct his feet'. I hate being treated like chopped liver, but I guess being 18 doesn't change the way people see me. I'll never gain/earn respect. some people have got beauty, brains and personality. I have zilch beauty, zero brains and a personality that stinks. now, tell me that life ain't so bad, I dare you. it just came to my attention that I really do suck in life. and without my family and friends, I'd never be able to be here typing this. oh by the way, my mom called me at 5.30 am local time today, thinking that I called her. couldn't get to sleep properly after that.
I wanna go back to jb, to my room, to my bed, to the comforts of my home. but as my eccentric ex-bio teacher once said, 'what you want, is not necessarily what you need.' I hate it that she's right.
am walking home in half an hours' time with hil. knowing her, she doesn't know her directions very well, and I only just found out the route today, so getting home in time for dinner is gonna be a challenge. what a way to end the work week, eh?
just 7 weeks till the end of my exams. then I can just lala my way through the last week of school and hopefully meet my 'rents who'll take me round london like a tourist, although I'm the one who's been here for what? 4 months? have to start saving up now. don't wanna empty my bank account too quickly.
I know I'm just talking about random stuff, but I just want to compensate for the whole week that I didn't get to complain to anyone about my woes. a word of apology to all you readers who are probably not enjoying this post. sorry!!!

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