flawed work of art.
Friday, June 30, 2006 @ 2:44 pm
6am: last year this time, I'd be waiting for my bus to go to school.
 today at this time, my mom opened my bedroom door to let the furbster in. & when I groaned, she said that she'd chase her away if I didn't like it. I mumbled that it was okay and moved furbie's face out of mine.

wait, I should explain before I get sued for being cruel towards animals. ever since my arrival back home, she's been scratching & crying at my door, begging to be let in. Normally, I'd hear & let her in, but very often, someone else like my mom or kak yati will do the honours. this morning, the furbster was being a pain. I think she's having PMS or something cos' she just sat there, stared at me & whimpered. You know how dogs do that whole whining howl thing? Yeah. She was begging for attention. And so I sayang-ed her, and she kept quiet till I fell asleep. It was like she was bent on keeping me awake. ARGH. I even let the door open a little cos' sometimes she'll cry to be let out. But no, she just wanted to torture me. I swear that dog's too smart for her own good. oh yeah, she's got herself a boyfriend too. A medium-sized pure white handsome thing that looks strangely like a wolf. Yat & Jean have taken to comparing her boyfriend with 'mine'. Jean's in love with him. Ok, just infatuated, but anyway....

'He's handsome, Lin!' (Lin is short-form for Celine)
'Eyer!! Don't say that, Jean!'
'Next time he come, I'll tell him he's very handsome....'
'NO. He's not coming anymore.'
'Why, Lin?'
'Cos'....'

Hmm. Cos' he's afraid of my mom? Cos' furbie always barks her head off when she sees him? That's not her fault, he stupidly scared her the first time he came. Dumbass. Or wait, this is the best part, cos' he's simply not my boyfriend? He's everybody's boyfriend. Everyone wants a piece of him. And I did too, once upon a time. Yes, I'm ashamed to say that I was one of those girls who prized a guy's looks over everything else. But, I'm older now and my thinking has (hopefully) matured. I no longer drool at a cute guy, I just think, 'Oh, so what?'

Reasons why it's bad to have a good-looking partner
1) Everyone wants them.
2) People hate you.
3) You feel self-conscious.
4) You're insecure, over-suspicious & hilariously paranoid.
5) People describe you as 'the lucky ugly one'.
In a nutshell, you're never good enough.

So, dudes & dudettes, think carefully before launching into a relationship. Loads of my friends have embarked on this journey that doesn't just involve 'I' anymore, but more of 'We'. I know it's none of my business, so I shall not give any advice. Just a note that, whatever happens, you know you've got your best friends around to whine to. And at this point, I'd just love to give a shout out to WeiYi, who came to my aid when I needed her, giving me the girl-power boost I truly needed. Also, to Shawn, for listening patiently as I cried over the phone. Haha. This is probably the gazillionth time, anyway.
I dunno if anyone will be patient enough to read the whole lyrics part. But, this song means as much to me as the 'You and Me' song by Lifehouse. Both these songs are to do with someone I really love a lot. (It could be you!) Go d'load this song if you're like me, into romantic emo songs that'll either make you smile or cry. But, I do hope you'll just skim through the lyrics. I was totally clueless about them lyrics, but after a second glance, it just hit me today.

Brooke Fraser : Arithmetic
I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marvelling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make you mine
You are the one I want
I've been thinking of
Changing my mind
It never stays the same for long
But of all the things I know for sure
You're the only certain one
You are the one I want
I've been counting up all my wrongs
One sorry for each star
See I'd apologise my way to you
If the heavens stretched that far
You are the one I want
I won't find what I am looking for
If I only see by keeping score
'Cos I know now you are
So much more than arithmetic
'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom
That comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the one I want
When the years are
Showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh
Depart this place
From a life that sung your song
You'll still be the one I want

Azlan asked me to list down reasons why I loved that certain mister...
'Cos' he loved me-lah!'

ok, this is very wrong thinking... I know. But, back then, I was young and foolish. And this was the first thing I thought of when asked this question in the car. This brought about a very loud NO from the Raja. Did I mention he's a Raja? Meaning, he has royal blood? I'm honoured. Anyway, some things he said, struck me a little. And no matter how much I try, I just can't shake it off. I don't want any more advice! I just want to tell Him everything. EVERYTHING that's on my mind. Oh heck. What are the chances of him reading this anyway?

I told Mommy I prayed & lit a candle at the altar early this morning. She got worried.
'Why?! What's wrong??'
'Just some problems..'
'Don't scare me! What problems?'
'Erm. Friends.'
'Your friend asked you to pray for her?'
'Yeah.'
'That's good.'

Technically, it wasn't a lie. Cos' Shawn asked me to pray for the people on his mind. And I did. Although, Shawn's not a Her. haha. Sorry, Shawn.

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