flawed work of art.
Thursday, June 29, 2006 @ 5:33 pm
Fang's home... I didn't tell her I was going to pick her up. She looked so shocked. It wasn't easy hiding behind a pillar waiting for her to push her trolley out of the arrival hall... I was so excited, but I wanted it to be a real surprise. So, patiently, I waited. Finally, she pointed at me while I was hiding behind a woman. haha.

'I thought that girl looked familiar...'
*points at skirt* 'So cute!'
'I thought you weren't coming?!'
*smiles silently at each other*

That was all I can remember... cos' after that, my body was killing me. I was so dizzy and nauseous, I just wanted to die. In my head, I kept telling myself not to ruin mama mak's bmw leather seats by regurgitating all my undigested waste.

Met my dear housemate in Novena Square. Found her all by myself since Little Miss Blur didn't feel her pink Razr vibrating in her handbag... as usual. She influenced me to buy from Gio Kids. Ok, maybe it was due to the cute-as-hell cow motifs. I was in love. The saleslady was super nice. And I can't believe we were shopping at a kids shop. And I can't believe that we still fit in them. hahahahahaha.

I cried on the phone while talking to Shawn just now. Sometimes, there's no blocking the flood gates, you know what I mean? I just feel that my life is so messed up right now. And no matter how hard I try to clean it up, it just gets worse and worse, to the extent that I have lost all faith in solving said problems. I wish I could tell you, but I don't wanna end up in tears. I don't wanna retell what I told Shawn. Because I might alter the truth, and that'll be catastrophic.

I realised I have gained a lot of bad points since going abroad. For instance, I've begun swearing & gossiping more. which is bad. very very bad. cos' the old Celine wouldn't swear like a sailor, nor will she gossip a hell lot. She would've said things like, 'No, we must pray for these people.' And she would do exactly that. I think tonight, I shall light a candle at the altar and pray for forgiveness. There's just too much of burden in my chest. I need to let go.

People, please don't ask me what happened. And make me retell my tale. I don't wish to share my burden with everyone. And only wish to be left to my own devices. If you really wanna know, I grant Shawn permission to tell anyone who might be worried about my well-being.

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