flawed work of art.

Sunday, July 30, 2006 @ 8:49 am

I want to go to a funfair.

they're colourful. they're fun. they've got cheap thrills. literally.
who's with me?? let's go on a date. you and me. aww, c'mon. it'll be funfunfun! okay, I'll even buy you cotton candy.

I'm seriously deranged.
how the heck do you trust someone when all the odds are against the person?
yep, I'm in the moment. and the moment will pass soon enough. bear with me.

Saturday, July 29, 2006 @ 4:00 pm

met up with boss and goose today for lunch. oh and their moms. real good to see 'em again. I suspect it's probably the last time I see both till I come back from uk the next time. boss will be going back to uk on the 17th of next month whereas goose will not be having any hols till sept. I'll be back in college at that time. sigh.

suddenly, reality dawned on me. I only have a little over a month to go. NOOOOO! don't send me back to the gloomy, cold, wet land of eccentrics. I haven't even really made any progress on work either.
in terms of the future, am looking at doing an accounting degree or a mixed accounting degree in uk and at the same time, considering doing bachelors of commerce majoring in accounting in oz. decisions decisions. well, I'm definitely applying for the uk one cos' well, it's compulsory since my vice principal would just chop my head off faster than I can say anything. weighing my options of prospective unis in uk. warwick, bristol, lse and ucl are around the top of my list. but nothing's confirmed as of yet. have been praying for God to lead me to the right career path and I know He'll shed light in the right route for me.
oh yes, just came back from a housewarming party where I bumped into... colin and papa lingesh! wooooo! they showed us around the house and also dined with us. yummy char kuey tiao right, guys? *wink* good news: mom didn't say anything about me constantly talking to them. yay. slowly does it. baby steps and before you know it, I'll be bringing a boy back for them to inspect. 'Mom, I met a boy. His name's Victor.' hey, before I get bombarded by questions, that was just a line from Judging Amy. chill, people..

Thursday, July 27, 2006 @ 10:59 am

thanks goosy and fang! : ) I feel great knowing that I passed with your blessings. I owe you girls a ride. oh. and all the rest of you who asked about it. xin, thanks for calling and asking. too bad we couldn't meet up. hope your test went well...
just came back from watching the lake house with my sabai. that movie is super fantastic. y'all must go watch it, okay?! it's not your typical tear-jerking romantic dramedy, it actually has substance!
was good to spend quality time with sabai and meet all her colleagues and all. she's really quite popular at her workplace. haha. everyone smiled and waved as we walked past. oh yeah! I must add this!! sabai said the movie's at 1.05... and we met up at 12-ish... and discovered that there wasn't a 1.05 movie, but the next one was 3.15! hahaha. that's the one we took lah. aiyoh. sabai sabai, I don't blame her... we blame the internet for giving the wrong times. haha. go complain wei!
er, she says she wants to blog about our outing, cos' a lot of hilariously dumb things happened. and I'm the cause of it.. (duhh!) so shall let her give you the 411. I'll just pretend that I didn't embarass myself today..
okok, back to the movie, am still quite puzzled by the story. I mean, I still have many questions left unanswered but I don't think there are answers to everything, so I'll just leave it there. you know why it has substance? I just discovered something really really interesting. the movie's idea is from a korean movie called siworae and the story's pretty similar. very similar in fact. anyway, the dude who wrote siworae has writing credits in the lake house. something weirder though, jun ji hyun is the actress that plays sandra bullock's role. she's the same one who did my sassy girl and windstruck - my two ultimate favourite movies of all time! the girl can really act!! love her to bits.
oh sabai! you know the restaurant 'Il Mare' that sandra bullock goes to? that's the italian title for siworae! so weird... man, I love that movie!
something even weirder happened when I got home. the dog in that movie, jack, looks exactly the same as the dog that likes to loiter outside my house, waiting for my pooch to go out to meet him. yeah, that dog that we call 'furbie's boyfriend'. anyway, he seized the opportunity when the gate was open, to come in to our house. and furbie chased after him! we had to hurriedly catch her and shoo him away. my dog's on heat, I think. horny little b*tch.

Pick a place. I'll be there. I promise.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 @ 2:46 pm

I passed my driving test! yay!! I think I barely scraped through though. haha. my examiner was a pain in the rectum, I must say. sheesh.
I still can't believe I passed. wooot. my dad said he'd buy me a toy bmw. pthh. thanks dad.
tomorrow watching 'the lake house' with my sabai - von! ronald mcdonald ar? hahaha. my first movie with sabai! so excited! don't think I can sleep already. sorry ar, still cannot drive legally... haven't gotten my P licence yet. haha.
man. I passed ar? really?! aiyoh.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 @ 9:03 am

in at least one point of our lives, we find something that we don't mind doing for the rest of our lives. me? I take life easy. just give me ever-flowing nice cups of teh tarik and I'm all set for the next 60 years. damn it, I hope I don't live that long.

not the best teh tarik I've tried. this one's from aima, a mamak place outside the hotel that serves whoop-ass prata.

got favourite-ed twice on deviant art, hence am a happy beaver till the next hour or so. cos' my right eye hurts for some vague reason. 2 of those photos I shared with everyone in my last entry. I need a new blog template so you can see the photos properly. asked my dad why he couldn't support my creativity (meaning: send me to some fancy art school to pursue my dream career) and he said,'yeah. you can continue taking photos.' I think he meant it as a past-time. sigh. guess we really can't always have what we want.

Monday, July 24, 2006 @ 1:03 pm

last week, I had a very mind-clearing holiday on redang island. of all the islands I've been on, I must say that this one is the most rural, kampung-ish one. haha. with absolutely no mobile coverage for maxis, I was left with my parents, my sister and her 'friend', joel. I dunno why my mom keeps introducing him to other people as my sister's friend. I mean, they're clearly more than just friends. is my mom in denial or something?
so yes, redang island is off the state of terrenganu and the only thing I knew about that state was that sea turtles go there to lay their eggs and rogues come at night, lay their greedy paws on the eggs and sell them illegally. nice! but it seems that the law's gotten tighter. nothing a little *duit kopi can't settle.
anyway, we got onto the island by a small 30-ish seater plane called Dash. I thought we were gonna fly on those 9-seater Fockers, but nyeh, we got a huger version. reminds me of Indiana Jones. *hums the theme*

the plane was really stuffy. lucky I didn't get much sleep so I just dozed off during the whole 1 hour and 10 minutes flight from subang airport.

Day 1
took a short boat ride to redang bay - a different part of the island. where this photo was born.

why do ~ang mohs love to burn themselves under the sun and why do the chinese try all their might to stay out of the sun and smother themselves with whitening products? clearly, we humans are never satisfied.
at the beach, joel and I made a sand sculpture of a one-armed man with some sort of hernia. neat.
went for a swim in the hotel pool after and got a tan, much to my mom's alarm. am I bothered?

Day 2
snorkelling! sorry, no photos. but I'll tell you this: I never knew m'sia had such pretty corals and fish aplenty. really happy to see nemos swimming amongst the anemone. that was cool. you know what's uncool? fish biting you when you're feeding them. it's just too darn ticklish.

Day 3
reach out for the sunrise! can't believe I woke up at 5-ish, dragged my zombie self to the beach and waited in the dark for a glimpse of the sun. you know what's the worst part? the sun was blocked by a mountain, so all we got was red-ish clouds. pity, really. but, managed to capture some pretty neat shots nevertheless.

bloody mountain. before this, it was so dark that the cam refused to snap, cos' there was absolutely zero light.

a royal salute to the anonymous jogger who had the energy and the sanity to run along the beach.

when it got bright enough to see the rocks by the beach.

yay! some unknown sea creature who was buried underneath the sand managed to dig itself out and swim back into the sea. either that, or redang has some really bhuge crabs.

dad likes this photo very much. he even has a name for my masterpiece - lonely coconut! okay, he finds that very funny, so just laugh along and give him some face lah ok?

anonymous jogger no more! dad was walking beside me going,'take the picture! take it! nevermind one.' as the famous jap photographer, michael something or rather once said,'to be a photographer, you've got to be thick-skinned.' I really like his work, it's really out there.

some love-struck dude must be trying to impress his other half. the funny thing was my mom was the one who told me about this huge heart drawn on the sand. I like this one the most, I must say.

when he saw this photo, dad's reaction was... 'that's not me, right?' but, it actually is.

footprints in the sands of time. sounds familiar. hmm. these aren't my footprints by the way. I have no idea whose it is.

aww. this is a postcard moment, man. I was really brave to take this without their notice. on my way back to my room, they asked me to take a photo of them, which I did. and when I asked the lady to check whether it was okay, she said,'I'm sure it's fine.' that put a smile to my big, round, prosperous face. =)

*coffee money in malay, which means, bribes
~red hair in hokkien, which translates as caucasians

@ 3:24 am

big family reunions remind me of second christmases. christmas is the only time I get to see all my s'pore relatives and my complete family. (well, not really, since daniel kor's not been with us for the past 3 christmases) anyway, it just makes me feel joyous and gives me a strong urge to get drunk, not to mention I'm of age already and it's a good excuse to get drunk anyways, since it's a festive occasion.
my sibs and I kept having to smile for the camera because everyone has not seen us four together in the longest of times. it was even my first time seeing all the chu sibs together. for photos, click here. for some reason, I look prosperous in all of them. and I wasn't drunk. the rosy cheeks come with the weather climatisation, thank you very much.
aunty jodie accused me of not eating her bbq, which to this I must protest. I ate your uh, mushrooms and satay and stuff. hahaa. yeah. I loved the chocolate fondue by the way. this, I will put a picture of, simply cos' fruits dipped in warm yummy chocolate sauce is ~~an aphrodisiac~~ heavenly sinful. photo courtesy of the link above. thanks jaochim!

makes me wish I had bought thornton's chocolate fountain in croydon. how much was it? 60 pounds? yowza. ever-flowing chocolate joy, babeh!

the over-18 cousins were grilled on *kfc's hot seat, or should I say, comfy sofa.
someone: celine, you single ar?
jie: of course-lah! my mom will kill her!!! *throws pillow to my direction*
me: uh, YEAH!

thanks jie, for saving my butt. >.<

*kow foo chai = baby uncle in cantonese

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 @ 3:55 am

due to the van's technical problems, was stuck in malacca for half a day, but that was okay too, cos' got to see daniel kor's apartment. (he stays in a frigging condo!! which kinda reminds me of goosy's place in jb) nice place actually, just that his room stinks and his toilet.. my goodness! can we not go there?? if I were him, I'd spend that 50 bucks to get a cleaning lady in every week. eeee. the place is disgusting!!! peeped in his housemate's place and it's like a whole different world... no smell of rotting carcasses, it was tidy and organised. even his toilet was not too bad. aiyoh. some things never change...

I dunno how this lil' hamster dude can stand living in that sty. I like my bro's hamster! it was so fat that it had difficulty squeezing it's little self out of it's tunnel. reminds me of the famous russell peters quote, 'hey! your mother so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck! thank you.' haha. okay, anyway, the hamster was really tame and greedy. hahaa. it kept asking for more food from my brother even though it had a lot hidden in it's mouth. daniel even poked the lil' guy's cheeks and asked, 'why you want some more? what's that huh?' hahaa. my bro also has 2 sugar gliders in the spare room, which like the rest of house, stink. *gags* yuck. I asked my brother if he cleans their cage often and he looked at me like I just asked him if he was a woman. honestly! I think my OCD neat-freak of a sister was horrified. hurr. my sis never fails to remind me of monica from friends.

anyway, we got to kl pretty soon after and checked in at renaissance hotel, which was within walking distance to klcc. it so happened that there was a carnival going on opposite the hotel. they even had fireworks! woooot.

that's a reflection of the fireworks display against shangri-la hotel.

the performances we saw at that carnival thingy were by some uh, m'sian artistes that I never knew existed, like misha omar, adam of akedemi fantasia fame and a malay band called spider. (who??)

adam or to me, a dude who's trying to rap in malay but cannot make it.

spider or to me, some malay rockers who look kinda old.

oooh! lookie! balloons!!

-- end of part 2 --

Monday, July 17, 2006 @ 1:14 pm

upon arrival at malacca, daniu kor brought us for a midnight seafood session by the beach. blergh! don't like alien-looking sea creatures.

while the van was being fixed, had the opportunity to try dad's chim-as-hell pro camera as there was a fashion show going on. the girls were rake-thinly beautiful and the guys.. bleh. I think I AM a lesbian.

I like her. she actually smiles right at my camera.

check out his jaw. whoa.

there were many ups and downs during the trip. it wasn't a brady bunch sing song expedition, that's for sure. I thought I was going to go insane in the car. people wonder why I always end up in sticky situations with my family. they go,'why go on holidays with your family when things always end up WRONG?!' well, I have no choice. I'd rather spend time at home, talking to furbster and enjoying doing basically nothing. anyway, the good parts of the trip were using dad's camera, meeting daniu kor for the first time in more than half a year and seeing interesting stuff. the bad? being reprimanded for things I didn't do. what the-? the ugly? too many conflicts and fury going around. *does the hippie 70's thing* chill.. peace on earth man, you know what I'm saying? *does peace sign* who am I kidding?!

Thursday, July 13, 2006 @ 9:46 am

fashion portrait of the day.

this photo is called 4883 and it is by a fellow deviant artist by the name of pullmyheartstrings. ok, don't ask about the fella's nick. what I do know is that this pretty girl's name is sarah and she's the artist's best friend and also best model. and as you can see, poor sarah was shivering in the cold, which makes this photo even more special.

today was the last day I met fang, before she leaves for kiwiland on saturday morning. I'll be in malacca tomorrow and genting on saturday till sunday. I'm not good at dealing with farewells, so I'll just say this: it's not the last time we're gonna see each other. anyway, we'll be too bogged down with work to reminisce and think unhappy thoughts of not seeing each other again. the 2 weeks or so that you were back, really put some life into my hollies - haha. thanks for going against all odds and plopping yourself onto sunny m'sian soil. you know you're wanted by all 10 of us. heh. take care of yourself and stay off the sweets. ;)

you know what? derrick has got me interested in nike dunks. ergh ergh ergh. I want a pair!!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 @ 10:41 am

JPJ (Transport Department) is a money-making monopoly! someone should sue! just like how they sue Microsoft for monopoly and demand that Microsoft share information with their rivals. I don't get it. If you're not as successful as Microsoft, well that's cos.. you suck. so what's the reason to sue? dad says it's basic business ethics. I think we should still sue JPJ even though they're part of the government. why? cos' today, when I was at the headquarters, one of the clerks was very rude cos' they know we need them to get our job done. don't the JPJ people teach their workers basic courtesy? no wonder M'sia was ranked so badly on the courtesy poll. it's no one's fault but ours. how I miss being talked to with a lovely smile at the cashier back in uk. here? hmph. I don't even hear a simple 'hello'. heck, they don't even bother working their facial muscles and smiling. it's no wonder foreign expatriates hate this country. I'm a M'sian and I hate it too! *does the celine mumble grumble*

just as I was typing, joel went, 'hey! you're a blogger too!'
me: uhm. yeah.
him: are you a good one?
me: uhh...
him: is yours better than your sister's?
me: nope?

I think he only reads her blog cos' my sister makes him. she is my sister and all, but that doesn't stop me from having my own opinion that I don't think she makes a good girlfriend. she whines too much! I know my mom thinks she's all independent, but, er, I beg to differ? how does she get her boyfriends (present and past) to do stuff for her? by whining. she does the whole baby talk thing which irks me. even azlan thinks so.

'who do you think looks older? me or her?'
'you've got a more matured face...'
'WHAT?! *touches face like mad*'
'no. no. she likes to act like a small kid.'
'YEAH! ish!'
ey. I don't care that I look matured, at least I don't prance about like a 3-year-old and baby talk like this:
'celineeeee..... I want to check my maillllll...'
'NO.'
'*pouts* why you so bad oneeeee??'
'go away. I'm using the pc.'
'but you were using it for sooooo long.'
'I just sat here! you were using it while I was asleep just now!'
'noooo....'
'go away.'
'but you're just chatting... chat chat chat. so nice meh?'
'ish. *logs off and runs away from the whining*'
I don't know why I give in to her. any idiot who calls me childish can go eat themselves. cos' they have no idea what childish is till they've met my sis. hmm. reminds me of someone else...

got this from someone's blog. shall keep her identity a secret.

Tuesday (July 11th 2006) 10.09 pm
they fought again. mom stormed off the table, leaving an awkward silence brewing between dad and I. before it happened, dad and I were having a heated debate about my future career, so I was really scared he'd take it out on me now that mom left. dad called mom a bloody idiot. the story was cos' mom was being childish. actually, it was just a huge misunderstanding. involving a phone call and a car. it's been a while since they fought in front of me and I won't lie that I wasn't scared.
dad did not come home last night.
when I was alone, mom confronted me.
mom: it's pathetic. it really is. when parents have to quarrel with each other to fight to tell their children good news. it's pathetic, you know or not?!
and then she went on some more about how her offspring treat her badly.
oh yeah. dad said,'don't ever grow up to be like your mother. a bloody show-off.'

hmm. I cry for this friend. because I wanna help, but I can't.

Monday, July 10, 2006 @ 3:50 pm

so, the italians won. bleh. never a fan of theirs. but can't believe the mighty zizou butt-headed a player. it was so obvious! you would think a player with 15 years of experience would know how to behave himself on the pitch. oh well, he still won the golden boot, even after being sent off with a red card.
am addicted to joel's nintendo ds, or just the animal crossing game to be exact. I want a friend!! okok, not like you people, but uh, animal crossing friends. you see, techonology is so advanced that I can go to said friend's town once I have his/her friend code. it's that simple. took me forever to get a willing party to be my friend, but yeah, cos' joel was in the shower, I didn't know what to do. hahaa. how depressing.
am in zilch mood to go out at all. because going out takes effort - like playing dress up, know what I mean? eesh. even though I'm bored to tears, I'd rather stay indoors, where it's safe and warm, then venture into the shady streets of jb, where there is NOTHING to do. conclusion: I'm just too lazy to get out of the house. I'd rather strut about the house with cotton shorts and a comfy tee and occasionally disturb the furbster. my apologies to fang who is craving to leave the house, but I seriously, can't be bothered to! and then there's the issue about money.... sigh.

Saturday, July 08, 2006 @ 5:39 pm

faisal & bjorn: hey guys! can't wait for you two to be home, with that I mean s'pore.
val: it's jingga! haha. I appreciate the tulips. sure made my day.
weiyi: as sweet & reassuring as ever. hugs!
fang: I still want some. hurhur.

just watched 'sleepy hollow' with staying overnight xin. gosh. haven't felt so shocked in some time. don't like creepy shows at all. iiiish. but this time, it's different. how can I miss a burton-depp mash-up? they make the best combo.

whatever gets you through today by radio
Someone said today
There's no other way of playing
But I'll find a way
I'll find another way of saying
All the time we have for life
Thinking 'bout the lives we had
Together
Whatever gets you through today
Sometime yesterday
There was another wayof dreaming
But there's another way
You don't have to be a hero
God, it's not easy
There's a lot to keep you holding on
Forever

Friday, July 07, 2006 @ 11:13 am

last year this time, a number 30 london bus and 3 other tubes were hit by suicide bombers. since I stay in london, I'd just like to post my views about it.
what's there to say? security is tight in london. be it airports, bus stops, train stations etc. you'll never see a rubbish bin in those places. well, use your head. someone might decide to drop a little explosive package in there. which is why you'll find litter all over the place. it is quite a hassle when you need the rubbish bin and you can't see one in sight. if you look through my pockets or my bag, you'll find sweet wrappers and stuff. haha.
faisal once asked me if he should grow a beard. I said that he might get shot while on the streets. yes, we've all heard about that guy whom police shot at cos' they thought he was a terror suspect, only to find out that uh no, that's not him. so, faisal never got a beard after all.
quite often, I notice those big bowl-hat wearing cops talking to some youngsters on the streets. maybe, interrogating, I dunno. once, I saw the police take them away in their police car. fortunately for us, we never got into that kinda trouble. and hopefully, never will.
sometimes, when I ride the tube or train or bus, I feel queasy. maybe it's the motion sickness, or maybe it's cos' in reality, tragedies happen. we read them in the papers yeah, but, they're not fiction, they're real. it could happen to me. who knows?
instead of some sad pics of blown up buses and injured london commuters, I decided to post some pics on fasion portraits - a growing interest of mine. any models (especially male) keen for the job? please tag me if interested.

Thursday, July 06, 2006 @ 9:18 am

jie is back. with her uh, "friend", joel, a chinese who lives in aussie but was born in south africa. how about that for being global? hah! his aussie twang is stuck there permanently, but other than that, he's a nice guy who calls my sis 'honey'. sweet!
played translator for my sis... her chinese is so horrific. she can't even understand street talk. adui. maybe there is good in being the only kid in the family who went to a chinese primary school.
before she came back, I kept wondering why is it that I was never close to my sis, excluding the part that we're 12 years apart and all. and this morning, I finally remembered. she always had something bad to say about her little sister. the first thing she said when she saw me was 'compliment me on how prosperous-looking I am'. and I'm putting that in the kindest way possible. during late dinner, the criticism just kept coming. the last straw was this morning when I teethered into the kitchen with my eyes barely open in my tigger pj's.

'Why your hair like that one?!'
*closes fridge door* 'You know what I realise? You always like to criticise the way I look.'
'... It's just your hair...'
'She's not criticising you-lah!'

The last part was by my mom. Obviously. Stick up for the kid who has a DR. in front of her name. I know that in choosing not to do medicine, I was going to have to go through this kind of unfair treatment, but bah.. not like I didn't grow up with it.

Now I remember why both of us would stick out our tongues in disgust when people commented how alike we both looked. Ugh! Thankfully, Fang said no, but did hesitate when I asked her if my sis was the prettier one. No surprises there. Can anyone comprehend why I only want one child now? Your kids won't blog about being compared to or unfair treatment by their parent!

They're leaving for Malacca on Saturday. But, Saturday's the reunion date. Sigh. I hate making decisions. You should've seen the way my mom was sulking when I said I wasn't going to Malacca with them. I told them I could go up to KL on Sunday and meet them there. But she just said no flatly. Oh well. Not like I didn't try, right?

More sad news. My sis is lighter than I am. She's a 46 & I'm a 51. Consolation? She's 153 cm whereas I'm 162. The saddest part? She's 30 & I'm 18. Boo. So, I'm the ugly, stupid, fat one in the family. Damn. I'm depressed.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006 @ 9:22 am

received a phone call from a very good old friend today. it made me smile like this -> :) I don't know how else to describe how I felt while listening to him chatter away. he & I? we go wayyy back.
let's face it, no one's that proud of their past. unless, you never ever did anything wrong before, which is highly unlikely, unless you're some crazy dictator who thinks you're always right. and trust me, I know folks like that still exist. I live with one. anyway, I'm digressing.
I never really knew him, he was just a face in a crowd, until one day, we became friends. I'll skip all the in-between stuff and tell you that he had a kiddy crush on me. and I, being a softie, gave it a go. well, we were kids, so nothing much happened. just that, we tried more than once. but in the end, we agreed that it wasn't gonna work. you know, God has a funny way of bringing two people together. even though it didn't work out in that department, we became very close friends. he came to me when he had troubles, and I would help him in any way possible. you know how the rainbow comes out after the rain? I was really happy to hear that he's doing well in college. he's got a fantastic girlfriend, his studies were going well and everything seemed to be going well for him, really. of course, he has his fair share of problems, but I told him that they come together with life. and he agreed. *big smile*
everyone's getting some. you know what I mean? the image of goodie goodie convent girls who have 'we hate boys!' emblazoned on their foreheads is completely erased from my memory. now, it's 'while you were gone, I had 3 boyfriends. didn't you miss out huh, cel?' today, I just closed my eyes and thought about the world I once knew. I wouldn't say I'm not happy that the world is changing. I'd just say that familiarity is such a fortune.
on a sadder note, italy beat germany 2-0. all the teams I support end up dead. I think I'll support portugal today, in hopes of a french victory.

Monday, July 03, 2006 @ 5:17 am

everything's gone wrong. my england lost wei. I don't wanna study there already... go portugal lah. eyer. I agree with benasir that christiano can win an Oscar for being the best actor. while I was watching the super long match with dad, I kinda already knew england couldn't stand a chance. the portugese goalie was superb, and we had... robinson. adui. why couldn't we have someone of lehmann's calibre? sigh. and the controversial rooney red card. one thing's for sure, christiano ronaldo is England's public enemy number one. eeesh. it was seriously saddening to watch becks weep at the stands after being subbed by aaron lennon. he knew. and can someone please tell me who put a dry spell on lampard?? the whole team just ran out of luck this time.

everything's gone wrong. brazil lost? precisely. that's one bhuge question mark. I didn't bother watching that one as was too depressed by portugal's victory. even told people that it was obvious that brazil were gonna thrash the french. imagine my surprise when shawn sent me an sms at 6 telling me the score. I watched the match again yesterday. the usually quiet zizou and henry were absolutely amazing in that match. I think they could've replaced barthez with a cupboard cos' he was hardly needed! the les bleus shoned in that match. and I don't mean just their bald heads.

everything's gone wrong. I don't like making decisions cos' I have a phobia of making the wrong one and plummeting myself into eternal regret. also, I have the uncanny ability to change my decision at the last second. *knocks head* hello? are you working properly up there? then, when I know it's too late, I'll just console myself going, 'it's okay... I'm sure it'll work out this way too...' I've got decisions aplenty to make. what course to pursue? what career to venture into? what uni? europe or aussie? just bother about the present or think about the future? I'm worrying so much, it's showing on my fingers. my fingernails are uneven thanks to my constant nail-biting.
yesterday, I met up with siang for a talk. starbucks as usual. you know what was most frustrating? I talked till my throat was dry and he just stared blankly. I dunno whether he actually digested everything I said. he could be thinking, or just blanked out in between my sentences. I think we caused quite a commotion cos' before that, we were shouting at each other from across the table. it was actually quite comical. I told fang about it and she gave me the roll-on-the-floor-laughing emoticon. the nearby uncles on laptops were like, staring at us, wondering where the video camera was. I bet they thought they were on candid camera or something. anyway, when we paused to catch our breaths and we were silent, siang would find everything very funny and laugh. he laughed even harder when I gave him the icy glare. I think he found it all very funny. I can't imagine I was a prefect because people always find it funny when I get mad. stupid siang even snapped a photo of me being mad. ergh! frustrating. sometimes, I wonder why I even bother.