flawed work of art.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 @ 6:19 pm
I've never been so happy to cry in my life.
and to think she'd be the one to get my taps flowing.
I hate taking things for granted. but, it's in my nature, unfortunately.
last year, if I got into a fix, I'd pick up the phone and call fang. but now, it's different. she's not staying in jb anymore. she's not here. she's herding sheep in kiwiland. I know she can't help it. I can't help it that I study in UK either. It was my dream to get away from home. and now, I'm dreading to begin a new term next month. why? simple. we. always. want. what. we. cannot. have.
why couldn't I be born without feelings? I can be a recluse and pick lice from my hair and can't be bothered with anything that goes on around me.
I wouldn't need to trust people.
I wouldn't have to subject my heart to agony.
I wouldn't melt at a person's words.
I wouldn't get hurt at a person's words.
and to top this all off, I realise that I've made a grave mistake. a big booboo. how could I have been so blind?!
tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up, read this and realise that blogging at 1.30 am in a jiwang mode was also dumb. but heck, I'm too upset to bother.
we can't always have what we want.

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