flawed work of art.
Sunday, April 22, 2007 @ 11:52 am
first things first, tag replies.
sabai: our doggie is at home, I couldn't bring it or he'll suffocate in the suitcase. and that'd be catastrophic!
steph: yaaa! nevermind, I've got a long hol coming up in June. heh.
mel: my dear, I wish I was still in jb with you. I really do. after all that's happened. takecare hon.
wy & xin: I miss you both as much as winnie the pooh misses hunny after a long abstinence. bad analogy, but if you know pooh and you know how he feels about hunny, you know what I mean.

ahh. the past week here has been lovely. the weather, in particular. though at night, it gets pretty chilly but during the day, it is absolutely remarkable. as I was walking back from church today, the sun shone down on my smiling face as I watched light pink cherry blossom petals falling in rhythm to the wind.

times like these, I hear louis armstrong cooing 'what a wonderful world' softly in my ear. it's like, this is why I was born. you can call me some sick romantic softie and... and... I will not disagree. definitely. I'm one of those poetic writers with the french berets who enjoy nothing more than talking about a good book to an attentive listener. and I have found someone I can do that with in college. it's sad that it took me so long to find this person, but I simply enjoy his company.

yesterday, I ventured into the hustle and bustle of the city of london with bako, sato and fai-jia.
fai-jia singing some weird tune when arrived at the station latelatelate!

onboard the southern express to victoria. sato reading my markhaddon book - spot my hippo bookmark!

and it has definitely been a long time since I had so much fun in london. we went to tottenham court road aka the rock music haven in search of bako's bass effect pedals, which took us soooo long. I dunno how many times I walked on the same road, crossing the same traffic light.. didn't help that my bag was slung heavily across my shoulder. thank you bako & fai-jia for helping me with my load. haha. anyway, enjoyed looking at various guitars - acoustic and electric, also reading the funky names that come with rock instruments - fender, sabian, zildjian etc.

bad news though, we popped into Astoria to enquire about the lp tix on may 3rd... yep, you guessed it - all sold out.

after a strenuous lunch at a kebab restaurant that fai-jia recommended, (oh and I say strenuous cos' I had a hard time cutting my pitta bread) we headed off to selfridges. my mom absolutely adores this place, she always tells me about it when she's feeling all nostalgic about england. anyway, sato got this pair of sleek aviator ray-bans which I think were made especially for him - fits so well! he also got a pair of speedos for his gym training. bah. 3 guys and one girl in the speedo section is so... not cool.

didn't find anything that I liked at sunglass hut so the hungry pack migrated to westminster, where fai-jia promised us tasty crepes but when we got there.....
'sorry dears, we're closed.'
oh well, back to walking then. en route to crossing the millenium bridge, we saw a greater horror - our paris tour bus. the exact same wretched double decker with the TOO 5ELF licence plate. now angry, all of us started screaming at the bus and remembering all the times it has let us down, especially the dumb driver.
it was close to 7 I think, but the sun was bearly setting at the thames and the crowd at the london eye was as huge as I remembered the first time.

finally finding waterloo station, we took a tube down to piccadilly circus where we bought bjorn's instant yakisoba noodles. and we were supposed to get to my vans store to buy my b'day pressie from my mum - a pair of glorious vans. but when we got to the outlet, it was 8 and therefore, closed. :(:(

anyhoo, after teasing bako about his carhartt jeans and fred perry shirts, we went off to dinner at bali bali, an indo-malay-thai restaurant. bako's treat! woohoo! this isn't the first time he's treated me so I wasn't as fussed about it as the other 2 gentlemen. haha. thanks bakos! the meal reminded me of home-cooked food cos' they are all what kakak cooks at home, except the rendang.
all in all, good clean fun with the boys. oh yeah, I forgot to add that we had a dessert after lunch at beard papa's. s'poreans should know this cream puff patisserie well. I still haven't paid whoever paid for 'em. my gosh, it beats krispy kremes any day.

Thursday, April 19, 2007 @ 1:00 pm
kentasato: music first, followed by girls and then food. *pauses* but actually..
ryancheong: you can't survive without food!

yes, things are back to normal in London.

Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 4:10 am

o kuno hito! which in japanese means a lot of people - one of the rare clean stuff kenta taught me.
the venue: citysquare
the event: pc fair
blah. it's overrated. I remember the last time being there. imagine a busy marketplace but this time selling electronics... I know! it's a friggin' zoo in there. and this was taken on a Friday afternoon. good luck to you brave souls venturing in during the weekend.

Friday, April 13, 2007 @ 1:22 pm
remember my passport incident? you'll be glad to know that I collected it yesterday with siang - the cow got his done in 5 minutes (dad's connections) and picked it up after 5 hours. how unfair is that? he kept going on and on about me waiting 4 hours to get mine done.
and today, he went off to city harvest, s'pore. he forgets that I'm leaving early sunday morning and he might not get to see me for another year or two.
nevermind, gave me some time to shop around. finally got new socks, lol. oh also andy's hairwax, bako's refills and... hil! I bought you an elmo tee! (:
and now, I'm po-kai. (broke) anyway, I did manage to bump into yongwaimun! wahaa, someone lenglui (chiobu, pretty girl, whatever your fancy) already. not that I never noticed she was always pretty. I should be employed as a headhunter for good-looking people or something.
oh yeah, saw some of the national badminton players at von's shop. hahaa. they're so tall and lanky, like giants! if you people didn't already know, there's some big badminton event going on in jb's indoor stadium. as I pointed out to everyone who would listen, there's a big shuttlecock outside, like, massive!
anyway, sabai, ruby, 'medicine' and I watched Catch & Release today, starring jennifer garner. it was uhm, not bad. I'm bias cos' there was this photographer in the show who took great shots. I likey!
'I always liked taking photos since I was a kid.'
'then, what happened?'
'I got paid for it. it took out all the fun.'
he looked like he was using a nikon, just like dad's.
maybe it is true but, someday when I'm looking over accounts in the dead of the night, I'm gonna regret not doing photography, I just know it.

Thursday, April 12, 2007 @ 4:42 pm

"whoo! I'm legal! let's go get drunk!"
- lynette yee, who turned 18 today.

smsed her when the clock struck 12, and she didn't reply till 13 hours later, at 1-ish. like xin said, who sleeps through the midnight when they turn 18? yalah, understand-lah, someone has to work in the morning ;)

this sounds kinda sad but the b'day girl fetched all of us to dinner at our chosen destination! (her b'day or ours ah?) anyway, lyn let us choose. waha. and yeah, thanks lyn for the ride! it's fun to watch tiny you drive :) hee.

mel's sitting in front, but she kinda disappeared in this photo.

so, off to tgif! winkwink, who suggested ah?

chelle: I look so fat! take again take again!
relax, girl - you look pretty as usual :) you too, mel!

I likey my sistah's hairdo!

what's so interesting about her rosak camera? :D actually, mine is a bit unwell also-lah, but uh, it's old and forgiven.

mel: why this tasha want to take so many photos of the food? I'm hungry!!

ok, so we kinda sabo-ed lyn to go to tgif cos' of this. the whole stand-on-the-chair-and-make-a-fool-of-yourself part. goose has a video. waha! youtube youtube! fyi: she had to sing 'Eternal Flame' with a pepper grinder as her mic.

this is when she saw fitrah and we all got excited and started waving like mad idiots.

if only I brought my dad's nikon, this'd be a good photo.

camwhore time! the first one is with the timer, the second and third are thanks to the tgif lady. heh. thankyou!

we look like body-less retards. or just me.

this isn't an optical illusion, I really am the tallest! YAY!

we're such experienced posers! no, we didn't plan on standing slantedly. this is what 5 years of being in convent does to you. I passed by my alma mater the other day and saw the same uncle taking class photos in front of the Mother Mary statue. hahahahaa. I always hated this time of year and I can remember very funny incidents every year. one very memorable one was of jillian on top of a car. anyone remember that?

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 @ 12:10 pm
when I tell people my dad's an o&g, (obsterician & gynaecologist) I get mixed responses.
'So, he brings life into the world!'
'Eee. *pauses* Eee.'
'Have you seen a delivery?'
'I'll never do that, man. I still want to enjoy sex with my wife.' (!)
'Oh. Cool. What's that?'
'Eh! My dad too!'
And the one I hear most often...
'So did he deliver you?'
the answer is no. cos' it's against some unwritten doctor code.
you don't do deliveries for your wife. now, stand outside and pace around the waiting area like a normal man. *evil laugh*

er, yeah, thank you.
anyway, I spent a lot of time as a kid in his consultation room spinning on his chair and eating bars of kit-kats. so, as a kid, you notice things. and when you're older, you take photos of them.

my dad is such a nerd. he writes down the date he got the book and signs his name on the inside of the book. eyer.

I always tell my friends about my dad's dead baby collection.

when I first saw them, I thought they were aliens.

and people call me morbid. there's even one that I didn't take a photo of, it was all shriveled and disgusting. like salted fish. X.X

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 @ 1:14 pm
did you know that you can now get an international passport done in less than 24 hours? that's great, isn't it? I remember wasting my time at the wisma with my family when I was younger. but, today, I was alone - just me, my iPod and my hellomoto e398. oh, azlan was around for a while, but he left when it was (finally) my turn. the wait was... weird. I forgot how much m'sia sucked till today.
- being a good Samaritan, I lent this Indian dude my pen (bako's favourite pilot gel one) and when he gave it back, it was all greasy....... azlan was laughing like mad when I told him and he said it was probably his hair. when I repeated this incident to dad, he said, 'no-lah! it's from his ear!' sometimes I wonder how my dad can be a doctor - honestly!
- I thought the government got a lot of money. I was reminded of my old school days when 40 plus bodies were stuck in a boiling classroom. in the waiting area, there were 100 over people and it stank of BO. 'nuff said.
- uh, this chinese primary school girl was poking my highcuts with her finger. and staring at my fender tee. and just STARING. I smiled at her and she thought I was playing a game. so we were sort of having a when-I-look-at-you,you-don't-look contest. kids!
- this small boy kept clutching his crotch. what's the deal?!

and that's WHILE I was waiting. when my number was finally called up...
me: hi. *smiles* (this always works in UK - people say hi back and talk about the weather)
woman: *silence*
me: I was wondering if I can put the old and new one together..
woman: no no, cannot.
me: oh. but my student visa is in the old one..
woman: so you have to go to the High Com and do lah.
me: oh. but that's all the way in KL.
woman: yalah.
me: but, it's gonna end in June anyway..
woman: what visa is it?
me: UK.
woman: yalah. you have to go do a new one.
me: what! but I'm leaving this Sunday.
woman: oh. then you bring both passports with you lah.
me: oh. okay.
I mean, why couldn't she tell me that in the first place? out of my frustration, I got confused between kanan (right) and kiri (left) and she laughed at me. beh.

and then after that, this youngish lady was giving out ICs and receipts. azlan and I were straining to hear my name, but we didn't. and when I went nearer, she went, *'ehhhhhh. dah brapa kali I dah panggil panggil - tak datang!' and me being the soft, dumb one apologised. in fact, I didn't even hear her call my name once. azlan agreed.
* I called you so many times and you didn't come!
there you have it. the m'sian way. but I was grateful to the man that allowed us to sorta cut queue and got us a form. he was nice and even smiled. he even allowed us to take 2 for my parents. my mum was furious at first when I didn't get for her. hello. it takes less than 2 minutes to fill in the form. c'mon lah. 2 minutes of your life isn't gonna make a difference. my mum can be so unreasonable at times, I feel like screaming. if I was daniel, she'd never yell at me and call me an idiot. sometimes, I do feel like one, for taking all the nonsense. but it's good training you know, when I have to work with impatient and impossible clients. my mum takes the cake hands down. she didn't stop yelling at me since 7 in the morning. and if you think I'm bias at my brother or something, I conclude by saying that azlan agreed with that too. and azlan doesn't play favourites. he tells it like it is.

on a much happier note, I finally got your card, chowchow!

dad: har! so she actually bought a blank card lah.
me: it's got stars!
dad: hmph.

I like this. not just cute, very cute. :D

p.s: xin, you'll be glad to know I sent in my application today. and I'll know by Sept if I'll be joining you. keep praying ;)

Sunday, April 08, 2007 @ 4:08 pm
if I could see 20 years into the future....

kor will look like this.

erm. he looks like a turtle, right? it's not just me?

but he's still my bro-shar. :D

Saturday, April 07, 2007 @ 4:41 am
reasons why you should watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:
1) it's a classic. who didn't grow up singing the theme song while jumping about like ninjas? I even played the computer game with my brothers. my dad remembers. HAHA.
2) COWABUNGA! 'nuff said.
3) just to laugh at michaelangelo, yes, the laid-back orange one.
4) sinseh splinter is cute. in an old man sorta way. just now when we were eating toasted marshmallows, my dad instantly grew a janggut* that could rival the sinseh's.
* uhm, beard in malay.
5) mikey was doing this cool skateboard sequence in the sewers to jet's 'rip it up'.
6) it's just damn funny lah. really!
7) lastly, if you're watching in m'sia where there are lamo malay subtitles... when the title of the movie comes out, they directly translate it to penyu mutasi ninja remaja. roflmao. and the malay bugger behind me was going, 'eh. movie haven't start already they laughing.' (in malay of course) I hope that mat suffocates on my socks.

turtle power!

@ 4:10 am
mum did her glasses yesterday. she just can't do frameless-lah, always crack. sigh. am I the only fashion backward one still in that era? I think I was hyper from the starburst snakes cos' I kept laughing at the shop. that and offering the optician gummy snakes, which he always politely declined. heh. oh, my mum is uber cool, getting transition lenses. like chris. but the price is also erm uber cool. haha. you know we all look like doinks getting our eyes tested...

kor: inserting my contact lens...

also, I've got a new fwen - sabai! from uh, sabai! it's a lovely b'day gift from sabai von. :D

oh. & this is what apu gave me.

sarangei! (I love you in korean)
oh and I know you love me and all, but I know you're not the stalker lah k - stop taking false credit. hahahaa.

Friday, April 06, 2007 @ 5:15 pm
people have been asking me too much about my stalker. bah. he's my sweet stalker, go get your own! damn, I'm easy to please. arrange flowers on my lawn and I go all woozy and ready to marry the guy. why wouldn't any guy want me? hahaa.
okay, I know who's the stalker lah. he's someone I hold dear to my heart. even though he does as weiyi says, 'treat me like crap'.
was talking to weiyi and we're coming up with all sorts of philosophies for my relationship with my stalker. thought it was worth mentioning.
like, when I'm with <-insert stalker's name here->, I'm happy but hurt; but when I'm not, I'm not happy and not hurt. and so, I'm constantly hurt. and damaged. I'm broken! and it's heartbreaking!
we're both weird. him and me. we're weirdoes. should I stay with him and try to cover up being hurt? or should I leave him and cause him to be hurt? 'he's human too! he has feelings! I can't just abandon him!', said me to weiyi.
but weiyi has a point, can I really live like that? hurt? is love meant to be that way?
maybe love is supposed to hurt.

@ 10:18 am
how weird is it that you share the same birthday as a bishop and the whole congregation surprise him with a cake and sing Happy Birthday to him. I feel so insignificant.
oh. but I managed to see some of my friends. which was good. and I cut myself, which makes it even better. :) relax - just the finger. at her workplace. I was looking at it bleed and yvonne was like *gasp*! she said I looked like I was about to cry, but I was kinda shocked too lah. haha. it was cool! damn, I sound morbid.
oh. and I only got 3 hours of solid sleep, cos' I awoke to this sms.
'eh! wake up!!!!!'
now, if you know me, you know I'm a light sleeper and so, I responded to the sms like this.
'why?? it's so early......'
and then,
'I left something outside your house.'
'what? you want me to go check? now?'
'erm. nevermind. you can go later. but dunno if the things will still be there.'
and so, I opened my mailbox and see nothing.
'where got? I don't see anything! you tricked me!'
then, this person calls and says,
'eh eh, beside the dustbin!'
'eee. why you put beside the dustbin?!'
'not inside lah. *chuckles* beside!!'
'er, okay.'
so, I open the side gate and look to the dustbin area. I see nothing. at this point, I'm talking to myself, being extra wary of everything around me in case I get caught on candid camera or some other scary show where they make people look stupid. I decide to walk on the grass to get a better look. and this is what I found.

whoa, right? it made me whoa anyway. but I couldn't whoa for long cos' the sprinklers came on and I had to destroy the masterpiece and run in. when inside, I sent the person an sms.
'you're crazy you know? crazy! but sweet. thank you. but, how did you get past the guard?! when did you..? were you alone?'
'go to sleep larh. I'll tell you later.'

and uh, I never found out. but, I do have a scary stalker dude who arranges 35 roses outside my house... woot.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007 @ 1:38 pm
in less than 4 hours, I turn 19. nineteen! sounds like 90. feels like 90. people my age celebrate their b'day by getting dead drunk in a swanky club. me? I just ate takeaway charkueyteow and am sitting in my room typing. I must be the loser of all losers.
dad asked me what I wanted for my b'day. I could think of a billion things. all that money can't buy. but of course, since my dad didn't have his day off today, I decided to let him off the hook and said, 'how about a Wii?'
dad: sorry, not available here yet.
cel: what! they sell it in Tesco's for goodness sake!
dad: is it?
cel: yah man. 199 or something.
dad: pounds?
cel: yah.
dad: that's...
cel: almost 1400 ringgit.
dad: hmm.
cel: no, how about a ds?
dad: a what?
cel: you know? the one joel's got.
dad: oh. how much is that?
cel: 79?
dad: pounds?
cel: mm.
dad: oh. no-lah. just study.
cel: meh.
dad: a better camera huh?
cel: yup.
dad: you mean like your mom's?
cel: no. like a better camera.
dad: d40?
cel: hmm.
dad: it's not easy to carry around, y'know?
cel: yup. but it's pro.
dad: hmm.

thanks makyaofang for the lovely card that said that, 'a birthday isn't complete without chocolate.' how true is that?! but mine is more like, 'a day isn't complete without chocolate.' but birthday works too. and you know what's even cooler? I love her more than chocolate. and if you know me, and you know what chocolate means to me, you gotta know how special she is to me. ;)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007 @ 10:15 am
you know when you were younger and your parents, teachers, elders, seniors, used to tell you to enjoy school while you can, cos' it's the best experience you're ever gonna get in your life; and we being swamped with piles of homework would think they were joking. clearly, they weren't.
I went back to school today to get my result slip translated to English from Malay. during my 5 years in Convent, I couldn't wait to get out of the place, go far far away, from the icky Malaysian education system and well, school. I never thought I'd one day fail to fit into the school, until today. I felt too old to be there, heck I looked too old to be there. it didn't help that goose came wearing heels and make-up. I could feel it, you know, people scrutinising us. for once in my life, I wished I was walking around in my prefect uniform, with my hair too messy, my blouse sticking out from my skirt and my North Star shoes having big holes in them. oh and my pocket full with stuff. today, I realised that I wasn't the one that left Convent, Convent left me.
and ar, I must also point out that I still have some bond with the PA system, checking out who was in charge of it and all. Pn Geetha's daughter's in charge of it for the afternoon session. heh.
this thursday's the debate finals between SIGS & EC on Convent grounds. how come the finals are always on this date? I remember Form Five, it was between SSI & Convent, and I was on PA duty. duh. Sarah Jane and me. I remember. I remember the candles on the cake that I blew out in the canteen, I remember people singing Happy Birthday to me after the event. I remember having extra EST lesson in the bilik tayangan* and receiving 2 adidas bags and loads of chocolate from my friends. I remember Jillian jumping up and down when I cried. I remembered being happy.
where did that all go?? what happened to those days when we didn't care what each other looked like, what each other wore, how smart the other person was, we just... bonded.
* AV room. air-conditioned some more, man.

Monday, April 02, 2007 @ 4:26 pm
guys are stupid.
they try so hard to get something they've got their eye on for like, ever, and when they've got it in their clutches, they shirk all responsibility and only come to you when they need something. and when you ask them where they've been, they say you're over-reacting. see. people just don't treasure people enough. they're not appreciative. they just don't realise that one day, this might all disappear and they're left with nothing. zero. nada. zilch. kosong. whatever.
you know, I'm a very forgiving person. I believe that nobody's perfect, so everyone deserves second chances. heck, even third and fourth ones. but people have their limits. it never ceases to amaze me how love can really make people blind. love is eeevil, it clouds all rational thinking. it causes blurry visions. it gives you heart palpitations. it's just bad for you, okay? why don't they teach stuff like this in school? how not to fall in love 101. cos' once you're hooked, you just have to stay hooked till the ride's over. like a sadistic It's A Small World ride at Disneyland. you can't wait to get off. it's not exciting. it's just sick.
I. want. out. of this world that drips with lovey-dovey sicky couples giving each other cooties. get a room. no, get another planet.
oh and another thing. you know when you're clearly not okay and he goes, 'are you okay?' and you, you lovesick moron, you go, 'yeah. totally.' and he buys it? I mean, hello?! and when you do say, 'no, I'm not.' you can just see his uh-oh face coming up and he being the stupid one in the relationship, goes, 'ok. so what do you want me to do?' how about.... grow a brain?
and so he asks this question, and you launch on how your ovaries are tilted and that you dunno why you're feeling this way. and that you guys don't talk anymore and you suspect that it's all going downhill. and after all that, he just goes, 'let's not talk about this.' c'mon, you know where I'm getting at right? if he didn't want to talk about it, WHY ask?
guys think they're smarter than us, girls, they try to outsmart girls by doing the whole reverse psychology thing. 'Why don't you just break up with me if you're okay with it?' and you ask, 'is that ok with you?' and he shouts a loud NO in your face. that he's not ok, that he loves you and that he just doesn't know how to treat his girlfriend well. here's the irony of it all, clearly by saying this, he's sending you I'm-Sorry signals. but no, he's not sorry. he's just enraged. he doesn't care what you say anymore cos' to him, what you say doesn't matter.
worst of all, he gives you false hope. 'I'll call you later.' turns into a two-week-long silence. so, you know what? you ought to hit him whenever he says that. just go,'oh. so that means, like, never, ever, right?' and he does the whole whatever face and says he really has to go. and you being too damn tired, tell him to just leave. before you run him down with your daddy's car. he pecks you on the cheek, says thanks and fleeds the scene, leaving you with smudged mascara, looking like some goth chick wannabe.
and that, my fellow blogmates, is why, I think, guys are the epitome of stupidity.

@ 10:35 am
my first night back, I flicked my study lamp off and snuggled under my gold (!!) comforter and closed my eyes with a smile planted on my face. I felt safe, I was home.
but today, I awoke clutching my tummy and tried shrugging it off but to no avail. it's almost 7 pm and my condition hasn't gotten any better. I think I must have shed 5 kilos by just being in bed, abstaining from food and drink. and I have the urge to...

yeah. not very pretty.

I hatehatehate m'sian food right now.

Sunday, April 01, 2007 @ 1:44 pm

why can't love be as simple?

credits: deviant artist - hencsy